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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GGGGGGGGGGGGGG HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They've only gone and lost, ain't they? TWFMBFC went to the Millenium Stadium in Cardiff, to contest the LDV/Subuteo cup, against TLOCKAPV (the load of crap known as Port Vale), and were well and truly stuffed. Still, never mind. I only left the tour twice to make a record with the Bees, (maybe available soon from www.brentfordfc.co.uk... seriously. Plus which Tonto co-wrote and produced it). Had 2 hours sleep the night before the final after gigging in Belgium, flew home at 7.30 am, spent 500 quid on a limo to take me and my posse (Max and Fred, my 2 sons) to Cardiff, missed the playing of the video for Big Day Out, for it is that with which one hast entitled the opus which was supposed to push the Mighty Bees to the inevitible win, still, I should remember from bitter experience that Brentford FC are experts at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Still you know, I'm not pissed off actually, gutted yes, pissed off no. All you lot who support your local team, or a team that's not one of the top 6 in the money first, sorry Premier League, (unless of course you're a local) I salute you and meself, we're the lifeblood of football, not those money grabbing arseholes who see European glory as far more important than anything domestic, who do you think you are? Anyone would think the English team is good! Gimme a break! shareholders? market value? piss off. I know we lost, but it was a brilliant day out, and well done Port Vale, you deserved to win. See you there next year? SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL TEAM!!!! Right, got that off my chest........ 
Guernsey... I was told that some acts use the Channel Islands as warm ups. I can see why... It's soooo laid back, as are the locals. they're also a little reserved, which doesn't bother us, But I get a definite "Mañana" vibe there, a pleasant change. One day, we're gonna go somewhere and really slag it off. But I don't know when.....Ladeees and Gennelmen, will you welcome tonight's turn, from London England, the Status Quo, whambamblastboshwhizzbangkapow, (that was Caroline, for 'tis that ditty with which we opened the set-for a change), and it was a little shall we say, muted reaction from ye olde Billy. However, we carried on, played the usual set (for a change), and proceeded to outplay the Guernseans (or something like that), running out 10-0 winners. It says 'ere.. Crap food, though. From there, we hopped on the ROCK AND ROLL EXPRESS Island hopping flight, it was called that because the pilot came on the Tannoy and welcomed us like that. It was definitely one he'll look back on as one the great faux passes (is that a word etc....) he ever made, he looked round to see 16 po faces staring straight back at him. It was a HUGE 'I'll get me coat...' The Jersey show was altogether better, but well, it's one bigger innit? (Spinal Tap fans only there, sorry). Gotta be a bit gross here, sorry, all those under 75 skip this bit, or those of you who don't like fart talk... Someone in the front row let rip. And I mean let rip.. The first I knew was when all these people seemed to start twitching, and holding their noses, it was literally about 20 people, and whoever it was had done it didn't even turn their head around. My money's on the geezer with the glasses, who suddenly became a sort of purple colour from the neck up. Anyway, fainal (that's how posh people say final) score, as I'm in football mode, Quo3: Jersey 0: bloke with black bum 16. I'm actually in Oslo airport as we speak, we just did a special appearance on the Norwegian Big Brother, that was really something else, playing to 8 people, reminds me of old times.. As this is Rhino's tour log, I'm going to tell you what I did next.. I came home, and played with 4 Bills/ The Mods at a Steve Marriot tribute concert at the Astoria, in Charing Cross Road in good old London, Inglaand. It was a blinder... we also backed Steve Ellis, he of Love Affair fame for 3 songs, which for the musically minded, were all slow. It was also a fitting time for me to bow out of 4Bs/Mods for the forseeable future, I just ain't got time. While I'm on about it, The R****'* R***** shows on the 5th and 6th of May will be my only ones this year, unless anybody offers me vast sums of dosh, like about 60 quid, seriously though, I just ain't got time. Nice to see Sally-Anne and Chris at the Marriot gig, good to see other people who thought he was the business. I actually played with him a few times when I was living in Paris in 1976. Not a lot of people know that. Next morning, it was on to Belgium, you will already know what happened the day after if you've read this, but the gig was brilliant. Rick and I both were a little, actually more than a little sacked up, plus which we didn't go on 'til late, after the Reggae All Stars, shome mishtake shurely, but no, a strange bill if ever I saw one, but we really did kick arse. It's you bloody Dutch, you just get everyone jumping around, I don't know how you do it, but you seem to, Rock On! Not forgetting the British Nutters, nice to see so many of you there... I'll do Dublin and the Big Brother thing in a few days, but check it out, it's at: www.bigbrother.no, plus which, there's actually some shagging going on! Oo aah missus! Mine's a pint of bats piss with lime and a cup cake chaser... go away, love from your local perv,  XXXXXXX
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