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Next... On bus on way to Harrogate, with m'lord Letley in close attendance, his favourite shows so far have been, Ipswich2 (judgement day), Wembley and the NEC. What a rock star, only likes the big ones...Low point was Bristol for him, where death by AC 30 was the order of the day, however, back to business... Cambridge, my sister Carole and her friend Penny at show. I just don't understand how everyone in my family is so nice, still there's always a runt in every litter. I said RUNT... I really like the Corn Exchange, I'm sure it doesn't sound great for the billy, but the vibe is great, one of the younger crowds, what I really mean is top totty. Loads of sweat, blood, tears, vomit, bile, vitriol and cosmic bliss emanating from us, billy reacted usual apeshit way. On to Newport. Last year this was the worst show on the tour, cold, miserable, quiet audience, it was so boring that I had a chat to someone halfway through on a punter's mobile. This year it was cold, miserable, and the best gig so far on the tour. The billy were absolutely magic, it really was shite weather outside, but you lot really did warm the place up, we'd gone on really not looking forward to it, but it ended up being one of those 101 percenters you get every now and then. Had a great tongue measuring competition with a member of the audience (that could be taken either way-come to think of it so could that!), her and sister looking well bonny... On to Northampton, another one we could have done 2 in, but never... Me got dis bad back thing man, me have heap big backache, me tek many too many pain killers man, me floating around stage in other world, me play like twat, but me want tek more pain killer, me go see doctor, maybe him give more pill. However ladies and gentlemen, good sense soon prevailed, as it always does, and I went to see a chiropractor and got sorted, it's the old P5 you know. I am now officially ready to rock once more, etc... 
Bristol, first of a 2 night residency at the Samuel Colston fish and chip emporium, the aforementioned death by AC30's didn't help the fray, on the second show, these 3 crazy blokes, all wearing Rick Chick t-shirts, and right off their faces tried to get on stage during Gerdundula, I tell ya they were so out of it. I don't know what they were on, but not even for me, thanks. Shirts looked great mind, in fact I got a 'phone number... I went to Wells on the day of the second show, what a great town, just thought I'd let you know that I am not a Phyllistiynne and I am veree kultcherallee awear. It was really nice, just a shame they don't have a Macadees, and they ought to pull down that Cathedral, it must be hundreds of years old. What they need is new, new, new (p94). Bristol is a nice place to visit, great crack (make of that what you will). A little story, only about me... When I was 16, I saw this band, Free. For me what I got from them was the same as I know a lot of you must have got the first time you saw Quo, whenever it was, luckily for you the band is still going in one form or another, so you can reminisce, rock on or whatever it is you get from seeing us. Free split years ago, so I only have the records and video, but I digress. As you do, I play Free a lot at home, and my kids all know it back to front. In fact my sons Max and Freddie (drums and guitar respectively) can play quite a few of their songs. I am only saying this because as we went on stage at Newport, so did Max and Fred with their band TPF (Tooth Paste Factory), playing 'I'll Be Creeping', a Free song, doing their first ever gig, at their school. I don't know the significance of this but I was really made up to think what was going on simultaneously, ( wow, that took some spelling). Answers as to the meaning of this on an e-mail to me please. Just a bit of history repeating itself I suppose... Day at home, and then on to the mighty Brid. It has all the ingredients for a great Quo gig. Horrible backstage, horrible sound, horrible weather, great pigs (pigs' ear-beer), almost the best fish and chips in the world, in fact they used to have, in Busy Bees, but they've changed management, and I'm afraid it ain't as mega as it was, still, can't let that get ya down can ya? Blinding gig, loud billy. Loud? I think you mean deafening dontcha? Boiling hot. Nowadays if I don't think the show will be hot enough, I call for THE VEST!!! It's black, it's thick and it makes you sweat without batteries! How's that? At Brid I had called for it.. Wrong! I had a serious wringer afterwards, as in I could wring sweat out of my shirt. Class! Really done a gig! 
We hadn't been there for years, we'd played that dump at Scarborough, which I'm sure is a fab theatre (I've just been told it's closed down, there you go…) the Spa Hall is one of the great rock and roll venues, you can stand or sit, good view, but most of all everyone wants to BOOGIE! Great night, few twats in the crowd, but it all passed off without any incident. If you ever want to do one Quo gig you never done, make it Bridlington... On to Stockport, with its' famous, nay, world famous lawnmower museum, you know the one, could have been a let down after Brid but wasn't. A word about Hurricane Party, it's great to watch a band improve as they go, and these guys are really grasping the mettle, they are really starting to rock like they mean it, man... plus which the guitar player who reminds me of a caterpillar when he plays, can't remember his name, yes I can, it's Robin, knows all the Free songs I don't and is going to show me and my Freddie how to play them today. We're in Dundee, only 3 to go, this tour is a bit too long for 4 old gits and a youthful drummer... Bradford on a Saturday nite, bit of a goldfish bowl, with the girl whose sign said she'd been going Quoing half her life, and she's now 21, it's all becoming a bit of a blur now, perhaps the sign said Rhino you are the best, fancy spending 3 hot nights with me on a sun drenched tropical Island?. I get the feeling it didn't, although I do remember on this show finishing Gerdundula in true John Travolta fashion, you know the Saturday night fever poster. As the others were taking the piss out of me, I decided to show them all how to pose. Noisome Willhelm this night, I got thrown a penny from the gallery for my endeavours, thanks a lot. 
Llandudno, rotten weather, got soaked all afternoon, saw Laura, a fan of the greatest (me of course) with little bruv and grandparents in tow, we've just arrived in Glasgow as I'm digitising, after a very noisy gig in Dundee, jeeesus this town in rocking, drove down Sauchiehall Street, barking mad pal, if only I was 28 years younger, OK I'm not, but you can dream... Llandudno is a bit like playing on a carpet, into a carpet, everything gets soaked up, you can't really grab hold of anything so to speak, not memorable... On to Manchester, had a meet and greet with State of Quo, they are such fans you can understand why they do what they do, plus which they're rather good at doing it. A great in your face gig, no barrier, but a high enough stage to get the Big Rock Show across to everyone, then the ripper to Plymouth, which was nice... got a grim back again, went shopping with AB, bought a massage cushion, lovely, works on all areas, I am Mr. Boring... went to the museum for the Plymouth Argyle exhibition, however, as opposed to the Lawnmower show it was crap, but I love the smaller football club scene, so didn't mind really. OK gig, I wish we varied the set a bit more, but it's not my territory. Eastbourne, singer from Hurricane Party Steve lost his voice and they came off early, poor bugger, specially as it was the caterpillar's (Robin's) home town, he just showed me all the Free stuff I didn't know, what a guy... First bigger show, NEC. My back was so grim I had to wear a bloody corset type thing round my waist, rock and roll, eh? NOT! I love a gig like this, or a Brid, either big, or in your face, how queer! Must say, I really enjoy playing Creeping up, that one really rocks.. just wait till we do the Oriental. Here beginneth the lesson. And it did come to pass that the Lord of Rock created the world of the Pop Idol, and did indeed demand of the horned Rhino his thoughts on that which they call the Pop Idol series, and if indeed it had come about that the makers of the Pop Idol TV series, or absolute shit for short, had seen a sign, the vision being the sign of the Pound. "Verily my lord" was the response, "for it is he, that Simon Cowell, otherwise known as Saint ScumLeech, who hath ripped off the people". "So, my son" said the Lord, "I shall indeed send Saint ScumLeech a message. It shall read, "Go forth and multiply, yea, even thine entire being, thee cynical, money grabbing a**hole" Here endeth the lesson which can be found in the gospel according to Saint Rhino, chapter 22, verse 94 There can't be any more! There is... Guildford, cool, Jackie Lynton there with the lovely Vanessa, he's a v. funny guy, loves rock and roll does Jack, what a talented poet he is, plus my mummy Margaret was there, told Francis off for swinging his guitar at me, I am definitely her favourite (and only) son. Crawley, not bad, been there done that last year, see press for details. Ipswich 1 rather quiet by comparison to Ipswich 2, no idea why, probably 'cos the second was on a Friday, however, blinding hotel, made even more blinding by the fact that my other half was there for a break, you know, all this rocking stuff is great, but it's a shit life for your partner. 
On to Wembley, spent 7 hours there before we went on, totally thrilling... By the way I'm looking for a Karaoke machine for Mae for Christmas, can anyone help me find an Arbiter STVG500? If you can, untold riches (well, £129.99) will be yours for the taking. The gig was superb, as I note, so has been the reaction on the message board, loads of noise and funny outfits, we had a great time, you did too I think... Sheffield was also pretty darn good, could have been an anticlimax after the big one so to speak, but great billy, Francis had the ache, but you'd never know it onstage, I've never written so much in such a short space of time, but then again the woman that wrote 'Gone with the wind' only ever wrote one book. (what?) By the way, as I've been inundated with e-mails (2) about Shanks' pony... this is the scoop. It's to do with lawnmowers, and is named after the first mower you didn't need a horse to pull. Da Da! Harrogate, was joined by my 2 sons (copyright R****'* R****** 1865), bit of a rattle your jewelry type affair, however we said TTFN to y'all who did a lot of shows, so I give you all a big high 5, try to remember as many as poss, here goes, in no particular order: Sue and Steff, Maureen, Nobby and Angie, Gill, Steve, Marc, the two sisters whose names escape me, that bloke with the long barnet and his sister, the Jerry Garcia lookalike, Alison and Jill, and anyone else I forgot, you all ROCK! See you next time... Dundee! Wow! You forget how much noise the Scots make, 1700 billy, sounded like double that, got semi mobbed on stage by a gorgeous lassie, before Dave Salt dragged her off, I'll kill him, doesn't he realise how much that cost me? I am now up to speed on bullshit central, so, apart from telling you that Glasgow makes more noise than any other gig we do, and as I'm so tired I would have been shite at anywhere the billy didn't pull you through, in fact what they actually did was lift the tired ones (me, the Reverend Rock Parfait and m'lud Letley) by the scruff of the neck. Glasgow, you are one of, if not the best! Got the most beautiful smelling bra thrown up at me ( I know it was for me because it said Rhino you are a dirty old git, get a life)... 
Edinburgh...lots of Santa Hats, as I said to Rick just before the encore, it's almost like we could keep going, a feeling that lasted for a good eight milliseconds...Look at these great shirts... and you should have seen the three girls filling 'em... oooh!! suits you sir, suits you madam... I'd love you all. On another subject, Crapmodem must be mentioned in dispatches for organising the food club which I understand is a hoot and has brought together a lot of people from all over the world... now that's what yer internet's for. Where were we? oh yeh, Edinburgh...Dreadful sound in the room, but another great audience. It was Hurricane Party's best gig of the tour and they went down a storm. Talking of support bands, here's my list of bands that have gone on to greater things after supporting us... 1. 2. 3. ... however, we may have taken a break from being the kiss of death with Hurricane Party... in fact, I'll look forward to supporting them one day. It only remains for me to seriously wish you all, my reader, a very Happy Xmas, and a Rocking New Year, and (oh m'gosh I'm being serious now) to thank you for your ongoing support. We love doing what we do, but we couldn't do without you lot, YOU ARE THE BEST!! Keep the faith, love 
Now bugger off.  
Top four by Barry Colquhoun Rick playing Rain in Belfast by Billy Adams Rhino Fashionwear by Lesley Morton Bristol audience from the stage taken by Rick, from Neil Bird aka Slap-ppp-y Quo Girls by Cammy the Morton Fan. Thanks to everyone that has contributed photos for this years log! |
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