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As I write this, you find me in a period of deep depression, and it's not about the Queen Mum's passing. Why was everyone so sad? She had a good innings, the only thing I think is that it was the passing of an era. As is today my lovelies, as TWFMBFC just lost to Stoke City at Cardiff Millennium Stadium. I shall therefore declare a day of mourning in the Edwards household, which will be difficult as a) I'm not there, and b) we're playing for 6000 of the Dutch nutters tonight... Onvards...
After Spain, the land of the French beckoned, we arrives right in the middle of the anti Le Pen student demonstrations? Why do the English never demonstrate like that? One day, someone like him will get in by the back door to be our leader, and there'll probably be a committee formed in to discuss ways of putting our, of course PC view regarding said fascist arseface, perhaps it's the time of the month. No it ain't, it's the bloody football. AAAAAAAARRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! That's better... Day off in Paris, fabulous city, then to L'Olympia, very famous theatre, anyone who's anyone has played there. It's also been bought by a rich live music fan, who knows that good backstage, helpful crew and comfortable seats can make for a good atmosphere 'cos it was a right dump last time we played there, 1997, I think. Nice and warm onstage, Fair sound. The French are very different to the Spanish, they don't have such a gay abandon about them, which was a trifle weird at first, but we realised they were really listening before deciding to get up and boogie, which they did by three quarters of the way through the show. Met my old friend Jeannot, who was the drummer in a band I used to play in when I lived there, twenty six years ago now, oh my god.. Overnight to the beautiful city of Nantes, in the East of the country, more demonstrations, fantastic nosh, early show, great amounts of Billie (French for billy) turned up and rocked their petit socks off. In fact, I rather rocked my socks off a little too much, and woke up in Karlsruhe in Germany next morning decidedly dodgy on my feet, not due to bev, but due to the fact that I somehow couldn't walk proper. I literally couldn't walk without limping, and it didn't hurt, which I have to say was really frightening, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Plus which I had a streaming cold, which being the philanthropist I am, have given to the man from Barnes, Francis, Dave Salt and Lyane. And it was crap weather. Plus which I'm nearly 49.. Nevermind. 
The Deutcher Wilhelm is different again, know what they want form the start, they really like to get involved, boiling hot gig, in a town called Rastatt, modern hall, not the right night to wear a heavy denim shirt, which of course I was, Sweety Glitter opening, glam rock covers band, really really good at it as well as being a good lot of bloke... Really weird when you can't walk proper(walk, not talk). On to Gotingen, playing there a week before the biggest Wagner festival in the world, which also happens to be in the same town. Bet we were louder. All I can remember is the weather, I could have been in England it was so overcast and drizzly, met some our German fans outside the gig, which was nice. We're doing such a lot of overnight travel, the whole thing at times does blur into bus, gig, bus overnight, early check in, bit more kip, pay TV (which I am at this moment watching, a service thoughtfully provided by the management of this high class establishment in place of, shall we say, executive massage, ah?) bus, gig, etc Where was I? Oh yes, coming to you from Germany, and trying to backtrack, which as I am a drug addled almost ready for Saga products type person is not easy. What I mean is that all I can remember about Lichtenfels is that it was a Sunday, plus which my limp (not what you're thinking) leg was starting to really worry me. Luckily we had 2 days off in Bremerhaven, and I found a fantastic chiropractor who sorted me out, I tell you, if you're going to be ill, you might as well do it in Germany. My C5 disc is the problemmo folks, so now you know... The newly mobile Rhinoid and his band were bang in form at Bremerhaven, great hot gig, rammed to the rafters, why, there must have been about 56 people in there. Not really, about 3500 I'd say, superb show, with another amazing simultaneous (that took some spelling, I can tell you) cock up from me, Andrew, Matt and Rick during Gerdundula. That Francis, how he does it I just don't know, never puts a foot wrong. Yeah, right... 
Then on to Hameln, a day of mixed feelings for me, as it was indeed my birthday, plus which, that morning, I had myself a sunbed, which is where the mixed feelings bit comes in. About an hour afterwards, my bum started to smart a bit. On closer inspection, it looked like someone had basically ironed it. Thanks to everyone who gave me such lovely presents by the way, v. nice of you all.
Doing the gig, which was an inferno, with what felt like an inferno beneath my jeans was OK as we were playing really good, but then Francis started to tell the crowd about my arse. Andrew shouted out, "show them" to which Francis replied, on mike "you wouldn't dare." Wrong. And here's a picture to prove it. Anyway, enough of the juvenile stuff...anyone got any jelly babies? On to Fulda, in a market hall, Sweety Glitter in good form tonight, not bad us, then on to Holland, for a tent show, at Hellendorn. Fantastic hotel, which of course it would be as we were only there for a few hours having traveled overnight. Dutch nutters, what can I say? You know how to party, dontcha? Met the (now former) Barcelona goalie, Mr. Hesp.He's about 8 feet tall, and built like the Berlin wall. Nice bloke, well, anyone that big would be, wouldn't they? He told me Rivaldo is a really nice bloke. He's still a cheat in my book. At I'm writing, England have just been knocked out of the World cup. It's not sour grapes, but come on anyone but Brazil to win Anyway, that's yer lot, byeeee... 
John Victor Edwards (49). 
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