Rhino's World
Part 1: Into The Unknown
Alfred E. Newman Sometime in February I decided to write a log in response to the at least one email demanding to know what the Status Quo have been up to for the last few months. My laptop loved me - in fact it was a big fan, and that's all it was. I turned it on, and all that happened was that the fan started, but nothing else did.

It would appear that I blew the motherboard (not literally) which actually means my laptop was f*****, and I wanted to get back home before buying a new one.. so I'm a bit behind with logging, bet you lot thought/hoped I was never gonna log again... sorry to disappoint you.

Anyway, for the princely sum of 425 quid PLUS VAT, those nice people at Dell said they would fix it for me. For the meanest man in rock, that was a life threatening response. Once I had paid the £1800 on medical bills for resuscitation, I decided that a new laptop was in order, which was duly purchased by Lord Salt of Margate for yours truly, who is now the proud owner of a ToshibaSonyAcerPhillipsDellnot850672BFGOKFUNMNXOIFE10M. As the more discerning reader may have noticed, I haven't quite got the hang of Excel, but give me a chance, willya?


Jesus, have we had a busy 2003 or what? Not that bad at first, as we had had 7 weeks clear after the UK slog, which we were all pretty wrecked at the end of, as I hope you can appreciate. Just got into a bit of home life, then it was time for the World Domination leg of the World Domination tour 2002-2378, as in we never stop, you lucky people.

I can see it now later this year, for 2 nights only, live at the village hall, Puddletown, Bolivia. I also don't know what I'm on about, as I'm in Australia, jet lagged to shit, so forgive me if I ramble, as I never have before. Except, that is when I was a member of the Ramblers' Association, did I ever tell you about that? Oh, well I will now (wooden mallet strikes the man with horn squarely across the jaw).

Brasil The Dates T Shirt Brazil, oh yes. Not so much jet lag, but what a weird place. The best drugs alcohol and women in the world, and I was sick. Not in a perverted manner you understand, I leave that to others, but REALLY sick, I had the 'flu in a big way, just managed the shows, which were a touch bizarre. I think, being totally Frank (John actually, ho f***** ho) that you got to get your record on the radio or your video on the telly if you want to break a new territory, call me old fashioned, but that's the way to do it (copyright punch and judy plc, 1794)

We had neither, and the record company was on holiday for the whole month, handy that...... Quick joke...Saddam's doubles are gathered in a room. Bloke comes in, to tell them the latest. "Lads, (obviously Arabic) Good news and bad. Saddam is alive (cheers from lookalikes) Only problem is, he's lost an arm and a leg....".

Long journey, however I met PELE!!!!!!! on the flight to Sao Paulo, the first of the 2 Brazilian shows. What's more, I GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH!!! "TO John, good luck, PELE!!!!!!" (exclamation marks from JVE). Talk about knocked out, I even shook his hand. If you don't know who Pele is, wash your armpits with red wine, and if you're female, meet me at the bike sheds at 5 o'clock...Fuck me I'm a gallon, it's now 11.45 and I'm tired and emotional.

Sao Paulo is so poor, I don't really know what to say. You drive from the airport through the most unbelievable shanty towns, I mean poverty like 98 per cent of you have never seen, and then you go to this kind of potash downtown area, security guards everywhere, pretty crap really, I just hope things get better there, you really got some or you ain't... Anyway, we met some people from the Brazilian fan club on arrival, what a lovely lot they were as well.

Gig, well a bit thin to be honest, goes back to record on radio, history etc, a few hundred, but I would say that doesn't bother us, if you sign the contract, you do the do, which was indeed done... What can one say, ya...
On to Rio, where there were even more poor folk, for me my head was starting to feel and look like a plum on top of my shoulders I had such a temperature. We were staying at the Sheraton on Copacabana beach, one window of my room looked out on beautiful beaches, the other on to a shanty town which looked like you could blow it down, it was so flimsy, you either have money or nothing there, and I mean NOTHING. Which is what most of them seem to have. Some of the kids I saw were so emaciated it was pathetic. No wonder it's such a violent society...

Can't remember much about the gig, as I was feeling really shite, except to say that it wasn't very good, Brain Ferry played there the night before, and his band came to the show. Afterwards I went straight to bed for 3 days, which was probably a good thing....

That's part one folks.... and here's part two.

There's great pics of Quo in Sao Paulo and Rio at the Quo-Brasil Home Page




The 2003 tourlog:

Part 2  |   Part 3  |   Part 4  |   Part 5  |   Part 6  |   Part 7  |   Part 8  |   Part 9  |   Part 10

To Rhino's Tourlog Index


Photos on this page by Simon Porter


  To Home Page