Part 7: The Riffs UK Tour What a week for British sport, first the Scots beat the Dutch, then the Welsh get a fantastic draw in Moscow, then the mighty English stuff the rather poor French, bring on the Aussies, actually they're Brits really, aren't they? Descended from settlers (ahem), I can't really believe they don't want to come home to the mother country, I mean what do they have that we don't? OK, there's sun, beaches, sand, surf, sport, VB beer, great wine, food, people, standard of living, loads of space, but is that enough? Yours sincerely, Mr. Johnny Jingo. Here, for the moaners on the message board, we have arranged a special show for you. The set list will be: 1. Bring back Jess whateverhisnamewas the original keyboardist (unreleased) 2. Bag o'shite (unreleased) 3. 450000000times from the "Dead at Hammersmith baths sessions" (unreleased) 4.That bit that goes dum di dum di dum di dum di... (That's right folks, unreleased) That should take about 6 weeks to perform, then for the encore I thought you could all have a right old knees up to the Rhythm Of Life, the of course unreleased tearyourownheadoffthenslityourwristsmix. The gig will have a capacity of 17, and will be held in a place very dear to all of you, namely your arses, because that is what you seem to talk out of, most of the time at least. Might as well include that in the set as well while we're here. All IMHO of course.....not. You know, we all worship at the altar of Quo, but some of us would accept gay priests, that's a strange analogy, but mine... Anyway. I'm writing my now nearly started tour log, for the Status Quo 2003 Riffs tour, UK leg, so this is a leglog (eh?) I'm doing it, I'm doing it, OK? Guildford First gig, always a bit of a strain on the nerves, especially as we're doing the Oriental, which I'm sure you will agree is not your typical Quo fare, the problem with it is the speed. When your heart is racing at about 780 beats per minute while the rest of the songs are played, you suddenly have a cowbell banging in your ear to give you the tempo of the Oriental. It sounds like it's either broken or been set to snail mode, however, time very well spent at the rehearsal room I can assure you ladies and gentlemen boys and girls paid off, and it was really rather good for a first time performance. I think Break the rules is also brilliant, especially as it was my idea to include it, always loved the song. Francis is STILL trying to get the guitar solo right... We actually worked harder than we ever have at rehearsals, and tried loads of other songs that either didn't work or were boring. Oops, did I say Roadhouse Blues then? Wash out your mouith (posh for mouth) with sulphuric acid young(ish) man. No, we even tried that, but it just didn't happen, Dear John, Down The Dustpipe, What You're Proposin' also got a going over, but they just didn't work, shame but there you go. It is so hard to cater for everyone who comes to see us, different people want to hear different things, talking of which we had a lovely note from someone called Catherine at Newport last night. It read "I know it's a bit short notice, but could you please play 'Going Down Town Tonight' in your show as it is my favourite Status Quo song. If you can't, not to worry....ah.. Back to gig, this a bit long all this isn't it, still that's what happens when you're straight, as I most definitely am at present. We all thought the set was good but not right, and changes were and are being made, lots of familiar faces in the crowd, including the 2 mad German ladies, that Mr. Crap, and too many others to list here, loads of noise from us and you. Brentwood. First of 2 shows. I was commuting from home on the M25, and got stuck in such a bad traffic jam at that at 4.30 I called the office to tell them I might not make the gig, I was really cacking myself, then... You know what happens, the traffic suddenly starts moving perfectly for no apparent reason. Brentwood, yes I remember... Crap sound, poky dressing room, really quiet audience, we must be doing 2 nights, well it was all as I remembered, except I'd forgotten that the gig was an INFERNO, so I'd gone on wearing the Edwards diet outfit, remember that? Wear a thick vest under a heavy denim shirt, dance around like a twat under lights for 100 minutes, then drink loads to rehydrate. Works for me... It is becoming obvious that Down down is not working at the front of the show, and there are too many songs that people don't either know or want to hear. I know there's this thing about playing older songs that enjoy a cult following, but to be honest, we want to play to 80,000 people on a tour, not 8,000. I can actually see both sides to that cult song discussion, but if you're one of those oldie lovers (so to speak) check out the reaction to songs like Burning Bridges, and compare it to something like Softer ride or Backwater, I hope you'll understand what I mean. Anyway, Brentwood, not bad, dreadful weather to drive home in, pissing rain, and food for thought... On to Sheffield, the City hall, been playing there since 1979 I have, with Judie Tzuke, opening for Gallagher and Lyle. I like Sheffield as a city and a gig, I think I actually prefer the shows where Billy's next to the stage, you can have a reet good time. Only drag is that you can't hear the vocals if you're at the front, as there's nowhere to put them. Talking of which, we nearly had a nasty accident there, one of the PA speaker cabinets fell off the stack it was on, about halfway through the show. Luckily for everyone it fell backwards on to the side of the stage, just missed the security bloke, I bet he was suddenly sporting the old brown trousers! Great billy, shit out front sound I've told by more people than were at the gig. Bradford, yippee, a new venue!! The City hall is unsafe so I'm told, so we played the Alhambra. Pat Marks told me a funny story. He was getting off his crew bus, which was parked alongside all the other trucks and buses, when a bloke walking past asked who was on. When Pat told him, he said "Fookin 'ell, they've got more trucks than chords!" Beautiful theatre, really impressive inside, they really have had them all there, all the old adverts for the years of music hall and variety are on the walls, fascinating stuff. Set list still wrong, but getting there. Mind you, my gig was livened up no end by a girl who poked her tongue at me, which I responded to. By the end of the show the shapes she was making with her tongue looked quite illegal to me I can tell you, ladies and gentlemen boys and girls... Good though. That'll be doing you, I'll not bother you any more for a while..

XXX The 2003 tourlog: Part 1  |   Part 2  |   Part 3  |   Part 4  |   Part 5  |   Part 6  |   Part 8  |   Part 9  |   Part 10 To Rhino's Tourlog Index All photos on this page by Dave Salt.