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Edwards here, you know me, overpaid and jammy bastard session musician. Before I go on (and I know I do) can anyone of you smart Alecs out there tell me what the word bourne means? I keep forgetting to look it up and it’s bugging me. Oh well...
I'm in Plymouth on a day off at the moment, and I suddenly realise that I only have about 15 shows to catch up on. As I can’t think of bugger all to say about some of them, they shall receive scant attention from the mighty me, and I shall instead inform you of what I, me, myself, and other members of the Status Quo have been up to...
Still riding high on actually being the World champions of a sport invented over here, although I was indeed riding high yesterday, as I ventured into Letleyland and climbed Mount Snowdon with him. Absolutely amazing, if a little tiring, more of that later. Can’t even get on line, so I don’t even remember where I was, still bollocks to all that, just getting my itinerary, back in a moment after some class Bs and a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau, which by the way is shit hot this year. Pretentious, moi? On a more sombre note, you poor people in Turkey, getting blown up by one of your own…makes you sick. My f******* laptop just wiped 2 pages of shit, sorry log. AARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Second go... Grimsby. Started with Caroline for first time. Rick forgets to play Backwater and starts with 4500 times. Set feels better. Top birds. Boiling hot. (this a shortened version as I am pissed, and off as well) Newcastle. WOW! Huge roar when we start. Best billy so far. Burning Bridges was amazing. By the way, I do not think it’s crap, we give the people what they want, and they want that, mark my worms (quoish for words) Newcastle = cool town Newcastle=great investment making a once great city reinvent itself as a thriving and vibrant metropolistypeplacemate Newcastle= Baltic flour mills...Sculpture gallery, visited by Malevolent Matt, Artistic (what kind of artistic?) Andy plus Remarkable Rhino (a name coined by Rock Parfait), fanf****** superb. Carlisle. I support Carlisle as they are bottom of the league. I always follow the underdog (eg TWFMBFC, even though they’re crap) OK gig, all the cotton buds were hidden, as it was here last year that I perforated my eardrum with one, an exquisite moment of supreme dickheadedness (is that a word?..etc) I like Carlisle so much that I travelled on 2 buses (no 82, the next some other one) next day from Manchester to watch the mighty Carlisle playing Oldham. In the FA cup. Sadly, they lost, but come on you whatever your nickname is, I love ya!!! 
Same day went to the Apollo in Manchester in the evening with the reverend Rock to watch "Bottom" (starring Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson, that for our Namibian readers who may not have seen the Young Ones, which incidentally I was in..)
Silly, but fun in a Beano for the over 18s kind of way.
Great show next day in Manc, it’s funny, when you get a roast dinner in catering (courtesy of Pascal and Helen - big merci to Pascal, who’s leaving us at Croydon) you know it’s Sunday when that kind of meal arrives. I tend to get a bit worried we’re going to have a Sunday night Songs of Praise type crowd, needn’t have worried, fantastic billy, one of those places where you can see right to the back, rocking to the rafters, also went to see the Mighty State of Quo during the afternoon, well rocking... Little Lady especially good... blokes, do the Oriental! Why not?, Plus, Oy! lead guitarist bloke! come and see us, we really ain’t that bad... On to 2 Croydons, OK, Portsmouth, better, plus hotter, met Steve from the Ark Royal boat thing, tally ho and all that... Got a new record coming out soon. Newport. The Welsh can’t half make a racket when they want to, lots of noise and tongue poking, which seems to be a recurring theme... I like tongues. An odd thing, re merchandising, which as I’m sure you know is a big deal for most bands. You play in the so called affluent areas, and you sell, let’s say 3,000000 Turkish Lire per head. In Newport, which has a reputation for being a depressed area, the sale was 5,000000 lire per head. All I really want to say is you put your money where your mouth is, and there was a lot of mouth. What’s with that bloody Ogi Ogi Ogi thing, eh? Pretty damn good, think we started the rock god guitar playing and swapping gear in Gerdundula, pictures to follow. 
Bristols, I like two Bristols, nudge nudge... No, really I do. Dear Claire Raynor, am I odd? No John, you’re a fruit eater, as these things normally hang around in pears. That is the worst attempt at humour I have put here in all my born days. I know that’s a matter of opinion, but I just thought of it and didn’t laugh at the time, hey, what the heck... Basingstoke.. Met my lovely friend Heidi, who’s come over from Denmark for 9 shows, what a great fan, you have this idea of all Scandinavians being 8 feet tall and blond. Heidi isn’t, she’s a tad short, and dark in the hair department, but you could not wish to have a nicer person as a fan. I am honoured, no shit. Someone comes over from Denmark for 2 weeks ‘cos they think you’re cool, more than fine by me. Good gigs, attended by my favourite WPC. On to Oxford, where we met the voice of the round ball, Lord John of Motson, who told me categorically that England were going to win in the morning. That was handy... The loudest cheer I’ve heard on the tour so far was down to yours truly. At the end of the gig, which was a rocker, I made sure the main mike was open. As we left the stage, I said "One more thing. Come on England!!!" I tell you folks, that raised the roof, like I never heard before... blew me away, and they delivered, which brings me back to the front... so to speak, here’s to tongues, and speaking in them, Rev JVSENDMEYOURMONEYEDWARDSxxxx |
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 9 | Part 10 To Rhino's Tourlog Index except 'BBQ that' courtesy of Times newspapers. |
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