Germany calling, this is Germany calling. A day off by the sea, the town is so small it’s not on the map. It’s called fun town in German, really, and guess what? It’s chucking it down, miserable here and baking in uk, the cloud has rediscovered us after a self assesment course, which was held in Margate, but more of that later, as I am indeed ladiesandgentlemenboysandgirls a tad on the late side with my ever more intriguing/boring/funny/dull/sexy/stupid (delete as applicable) RHINO’S RIGHT RIVETIN' TOURLOG! DA DA!
Just one more bit. An algebraic equation for you:
Travel overnight with band=Y.
Travel overnight with crew=why did I do that, or Z
Brain cells left after Y = 300, 000,000,000
Brain cells left after Z=7
Therefore z- (y) x 9 (pints of lager) +ns (no sleep) = 3 sos (sacks o’shite) + na (never again}.
Conclusion TWAT squared.
I’m losing it so here goes...
Belfast was our first show after Xmas, except for a private show in Berlin, which was memorable if only for the fact that I didn’t bother warming up, as in playing, and as a result gave myself tennis elbow, which I still have, and it’s bloody painful at times, still, my fault.
Belfast was really crap. I thought we were well poor, some attitudes were a bit naff, we didn’t take sufficient production, sound was horrific, and Billy didn’t seem to notice or mind, and had a reet good time, I think.
It’s a great town, with great people, and the Crown public house, which has to be the 8th wonder of the world if you like drinking. Not that I do, just passing on information. It was just a pisser not to be the John Lewis of rock, still next time...
On to 2 Dublin shows, I know Dublin is supposed to have the charm etc, but I prefer Belfast personally, however as that’s got f*** all to do with anything, at least we had a return to something like normal service, groovy, if a little prog rock support band Karnakarta or something like that, well interesting. Lots of the usual suspects, by the way Aunty Pam was in Belfast she’s a front rower as we call the people who stand at the front. Wow! Move over Plato. Anything more profound than that front row bit and my head will explode from thought process alone
Ladiesandgentlemenboysandgirls.
You may realise that as I write, I DID in fact travel overnight with the crew…...
Second show better than first, though not sold out. Out walking during the day it seemed like I met or had a half of Guinness with 90 per cent of the billy. Guess what? Same set...
Day off in Castlebar, in the west of Ireland, pretty unexceptional day, except for the fact I was sitting having yet another glass of Guinness (moi?) in the hotel foyer and my 84 year old mum suddenly is looking at me through the window. She came across with my Irish brother-in-law Pat, who lives near us in England but is originally from Kerry, what a top bloke he is. He knew she’d never been to Ireland, so when he had to go over on family stuff, unknown to me decided to take her.
You could have knocked me down with a feather is an expression that springs to mind. My incredibly quick witted first thought on seeing her was, what the f*** is she doing here, which of course wasn’t what I said ( I actually said what the f****** h*** are you doing here, which didn’t go down too well).
Drove round lots with them, the West of Ireland is truly beautiful, and you’d be hard pressed to find friendlier people anywhere in the world IMHO of course LOL ETC. By the way, my mum had a truly terrific time with her favourite (and only) son and son in law.
Pretty good and hot gig, except that the hall was so hot and steamy, guitars weren’t exactly staying in tune. In fact they were distinctly staying out of tune, nothing anybody could have done. Bit of a baptism of fire for Adam, our new guitar tech, who has taken over from Tonto, who’s gone on to pastures new, all the best from all of us Tontxxxxx.
Adam, is 35 and also a fan of TWFMBFC. The proud father of twin girls, he lists his hobbies as mountain biking and wearing tasteless t-shirts. Welcome aboard.
Next to Killarney. There is beautiful, and then there’s Killarney, a place lost in time, full of breathtaking vistas, lakes and BEER. Aah, that’s better, getting a bit gushing there. But it was so nice, my holiday is booked for next year already. Taking a short break, got to get some fresh air before I chunder. Don’t try this at home kids...
Feel better now.
Last gig on our very successful Irish tour, Waterford. Put in at short notice, it was a hoot. A night club, the stage was about 10 feet high, to say the sound was horrendous would be like saying the Sugarbabes are crap, eg a massive understatement. It was so funny, Francis actually laughed all the way through, I’d expected him to have a face like a smacked arse, but he had it right. If you were to take it seriously, just cut out the middle man and slit your wrists now.
Before I tell you about our Danish bit, there’s one or two things I want to address on a more serious note re the message board. There are a few of you who, under the guise of "constructive" criticism seem to always be really down on me, the current band, Francis etc, and are always harping on that everything since Nuff and Spud left has been crap. We, and I mean all of us, find it kind of ironic that we pay for the privilege of giving you, and you know who you are, a forum to constantly slag us off. What do you think a new convert to the cause would think when he or she hit the message board for the first time? All this bickering, such bollocks. I’m also concerned about all the "I’ll see you at this or that gig and punch your lights out" kind of stuff. Come on, leave that shit out! We had been thinking of closing the board, but luckily most people who post on it ARE fans of Status Quo as it is now.
It cuts both ways, I also want to say. Some people mindlessly defend anything post ‘86, The fact is that every line up of this band has made good records and bad records, and, I’m sorry, anyone who argues on that point is a total idiot. Can’t you all just agree on that?
I know that friendships have also been made - fantastic, and people from all walks of life and countries have been able to get together. I love that kind of stuff, and to a certain extent I’ve been prepared to ignore the negative comments. However, the most recent final straw, and there have been a few to be honest, read something like "why can Rhino put his Revenge shows into the Quo tours and gigs forums? Why? Because it’s my f****** site, that’s why! You may not like it but I am actually THE CURRENT BASS PLAYER OF STATUS QUO and if you can’t deal with that, go off to your Frantic Four site or whatever it is, and be sad somewhere else. And no, I’m not getting out of my pram, but some of you, young and old, are being right tossers, IMHO of course. I of course won’t expect any replies from this, because why would you bother reading something by Rhino?
I could go on but I won’t.
Denmark, the home of the mighty Nordic Lungs. (that’s not the name of a basketball team) They seem to be able to roar, drink and throw beer in the air, while simultaneously crashing into everyone around them and facing away from the stage, while performing what looks like some kind of mating ritual which in years gone by would have involved a club, a bearskin and a cave. And that’s before breakfast. I’m not knocking it by the way, I’m jealous.
Gigs in Denmark are always fun. They seem to verge on the edge of a riot, but (touch wood) always seem to stay on the right side of one. As long as you appreciate that 70 per cent of the billy is legless in Denmark then that’s fine. I actually think we’re a great band to get legless to, however I know that certain lead guitarists of this parish would disagree in a big way, so it’s a different enjoyment for some of us. Where we agree though, is the enthusiasm shown, and I’m sure that’s not just the ale.
3 gigs, shit weather on all of them, shit hotels, (same set though) Best Western. I know they’re not a bad chain, but in Denmark I think they broke the mould. Room service? HoHoHo.
Breakfast? That finished at 10.30. "But it’s only 9.45" "No. 10.30 last night" That said, the bar did stay open until 8.10, as it was a Saturday. This was in Skive I think.
We ain’t half been around you know, I was looking at a map of Germany today (oops, did I change the subject? Well I can can’t I) with the man from Barnes, whose wedding to Ronny was may I say an absolutely amazing party, probably the best I’ve ever been to. And I’ve been to a couple. We were looking at the map of Germany, when he mentioned that he’d been to every town on the page. I reckon, with my family visits, as I have a German brother in law over here that I’ve spent a good 2-3 years in Deutschland. Not a bad life really. I’m only to doing all this to pad out my log and conceal the fact that the passage of time and a night with the crew have pretty much erased our Danish tour from the memory, I know that Mike 'I’ll tell you what Rhino' Hrano came to Odense and that gig was really arse kicking.
We also went to a buffet restaurant there, where it was all you can eat for 12 quid or something, we went in at 12.30, I walked past at 3.00 and there were most of the same people in there, big lot, the mighty Danes.
Anyway, I hope that’s enough to slake your thirst for my big love, which I possess in spades ladiesandgentlemenboysandgirls, see you in HELL!!!!!!
Enough of my yakkin’ let’s boogie!!!!!!
Mr. Hornyxxxx
PS. Someone start a new thread please, you know: Sign here if you think Gert Ohlsson is a top bloke. Cos he is. He dedicates so much time to admin, and is in my opinion the unsung hero of the board. Take a bow mate.
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