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As Tony the tiger, you know the one from Frosties might have said if he’d been on this tour, It’s GGGRRREAT!!!! Such a pleasant change to work with other bands that have a) an extensive back catalogue b) great attitude to it all c) are lovely people and d) are big in places we’re not, which means we get to play to new billy and go new place kimo sabi. (that reference to the Lone Ranger for our Ukranian friends) Hi ho Silver! Away!
That’s bizarre, I’m totally straight, and even I don’t know what I’m writing ladiesandgentlemenboysandgirls. We have, together with cloud invaded Belgium, arrived yesterday, massive storm of course. A word of warning, as from next year we’re putting a clause into our festival contract stating that not less than 20 millimetres of rain must fall on show day, or we won‘t go on, at least we’ll know where we stand. We’re also going to put the old hot weather section. If it’s tropical outside, we MUST be playing indoors, or that’s it, we’re outta here.
Waffler? Moi? Actually we are in the land of Waffles, so up yours...
We played at Alton Towers on Saturday, seems like about a week and a half ago, for BT, thus enthusiastically engorging ourselves on the corporate phallus (right on, capitalist pig). It rained.
We played Ragley Hall in Warwickshire the next day, one of our own shows, a beautiful location, and a rockin’ good time was had by all. All of us that is except for the Reverend Rock Parfait, who described his guitar sound as a cross between rice pudding, snot and chud. Such an incurable romantic, the Rev ... It rained.
On to the Swiss peoples republic for the first of our Festival shows, with Manfred Mann, such a gentleman, BAP, nice guys. Got to tell you, one of them had a kind of suit jacket, and had obviously been to the lav recently, as he had managed to tuck the back of it into his jeans when he’d finished. I’m talking to him, and all I can see is the Quo boys standing in the corridor pissing themselves laughing, of course no-one told him, wouldn’t be English, would it?
And then it was the turn of the mighty Scorpions, fully fledged legends in their own lunchtimes, separate limos for the 200 metre trip from the dressing room to the stage, I think the guitarist and the bassist had both come twice by the end of the first number, judging by the faces they were pulling, except when the bass player’s gear packed up for a while. They were just hilarious. It was even more Spinal than the real thing, but, and I ain’t one to bitch (honest) didn’t even rock to my ears. Still, the faces were great.
But who’s right here. I was backstage talking to these 2 drop dead gorgeous porn star look-alikes (I’m told they look like porn stars you understand - I wouldn’t know of course) from Italy, and they were with, guess who, the mighty Scorpions... Ah well..
We were next, 16000 Swiss, English and others were fantastic, and we didn’t disappoint, the country is supposed to be reserved and all that, but not for us they ain’t. Oh yeah, some band, Deep something or other followed us but more on that later... By the way it rained.
The beautiful town of Coburg in Germany, last date until the next there, in the town square, great location, Thunder on the bill, they’re a band who’ve never achieved the success they should, can’t work it out myself, they kick arse, great players and the singer’s awesome. I suppose it’s always down to right place right time, whatever level you’re at, 15/10 for still having a go, does that sound patronizing? Hope not, it ain’t meant to be.
Cheap Trick. Nutters Nutters Nutters, great to watch, Rick Nielsen is such a showman. I’ve seen better guitarists, but I ain’t seen a better front man in the sort of travelling show mode, if you get me (Hello Kiev, this is London calling) What? The Trick, as I shall now be calling them, had a dreadful sound, but shit like that happens. Tom Petersen =12 string bass. Rick Nielson =1 guitar, 5 necks. Need I say more?
Us, usual, went down great, good to play to other fans (we’re special guests on this tour). Didn’t rain.
Overnight to Montreux to play the Jazz Festival. Huh? Shome mishtake surely? But no. I last played there with Climax Blues Band in 1983, beautiful place, beautiful people, great vibe, no, make that fantastic vibe, not many people there drawing DSS I can tell you ladiesaandgentlemencatsandquozonekissykissyimhotforyou.
12 camera shoot and multitrack audio + live web cast on the, of course, indoor show as the weather was belting hot outside. Will you welcome tonight also the Cammy the Morton fan bloke, he has the skin tone for the Montreux climate (not).
I made such a cock up in 4500 times, tried to throw a shape and succeeded in turning the volume knob on my bass off instead of hitting a note. 'Flip' I thought to myself... I then turned the guitar back on, and came crashing back in a semi-tone sharp. That means I was paying an F instead on the E that everyone else was playing. 'Drat' I thought to myself... Still, at least it was live.
Not our best gig, I think there were a few nerves jangling, GOMMOR was a real star, really cool, the Purples went on after us, and as they wrote 'Smoke On The Water' in Montreux, I think you can safely say they went down well, they even did a jazz version of it!
I’m going to see them tonight in Roselare as we’re staying in town tonight. Because of the distances involved we normally shoot off (nudge nudge) after the gig, so it’s tonight for me at least. Weird, I hate sleeping on the bus, but after 5 nights I couldn’t get off to sleep in the hotel last night, but do you care? Do you? Do you? I’ve got your card marked mister, come outside and I’ll soon settle your hash.
Chooeeuussee, Zat’s Cherman for goodbye, meines kleines kinder surprises xxxxx
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Part 6
To Rhino's Tourlog Index
Top photo of Quo in Montreux © Montreux Jazz Festival (Thanks Monica!)
Alton Towers in the Rain by Dave Salt
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