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Okay, okay. I am the biggest twat of all time, at least today. We have a day off in Barthelona, more on that later, however, I was out with the venerable Mike Hrano this afternoon when I saw what I like to describe as a shit shop, one of those where in the UK everything would be under a pound, you know the sort, actually they’re not shit, I’ve sometimes had a good ten minutes use out of some of the things I’ve bought before they’ve broken or run out of batteries etc. I saw a can of green hair colour, you know, the one that you put on and minutes later it’s running down your face ‘cos it’s useless.
Well, I bought one, and covered Mike’s head with it and wet meself laughing, well I would have done if some asshole with a baby in his arms wasn’t opening my backpack and trying to steal my wallet. I caught him with my cap, which had been in my bag, hidden between him and his baby, what a bastard, using an infant as insurance. "Have at you sirrah" I cried. What a complete horrible person, still, I’m sure that baby will turn out fine... Not.
Looking at Mike’s head, suddenly I realised that I’d actually not looked properly at the can, and it was in fact green paint I’d applied to his follicle area. I guess you could say it was the highlight of the tour so far for me... Boom Boom !
I’d been feeling really guilty about it, and then I got a call telling me they wouldn’t let him in the hotel with green hair, as we’re staying in a pukka establishment, and I had to go and talk to the manager and vouch for Mike, which was of course a wind up, given away by the goddess behind the counter looking at me and laughing, mind you I’m used to that...It actually took him 45 minutes of frantic scrubbing to remove said green gear, and lots of ale purchasing by me to salve my conscience. Mind you, I couldn’t have done it to a nicer bloke, luckily.
We have an extra day off in Barthelona en route to Maadreed because our show in Padova was pulled, it’s not our fault by the way, these cancellations are because the shows aren’t selling, we’re not the main act, them being the Purples, I know they’re gutted, it’s the old peaks and troughs that any band that’s been going as long as they and us have find themselves in.
As Toot pointed out, we’ve actually more days off than gigs, again more of that later, but our sincere apologies to those of you who travelled to Italy for 2 shows and only got one, not our fault, believe me. I’ve just had 3 days off in Como, we pretty much all had our wives out, and it was fantastic, but we’d rather have been doing gigs to be honest... Anyway, the shows that we actually managed to do went something like this:
Morning peasants, Slovenia calling, day off, after a ripper from the land of the crappest football team in England’s Euro 2004 group, they can’t be that bad can they? Aye... That’s Switzerland. Best tennis though, that Federer, jumpers for tramlines, out? Serve you sir, I am a tad incommunicado senorinasyhombresywhatevertheycallchildreninspanish however, the Gulf of Trieste or somewhere, swimming in the sea, when it wasn’t surrounded by untreated effluent (phaeces to our Taiwanese readers) some of the worst wine I have ever tasted, and I’ve tasted some shite grape juice in my time, lovely weather, the man from Barnes suggested an eaterie. Crap but there you go, I won’t hold it against him. Until the next time...
Gig. Football stadiumette, 4000 Slovenian billy, they don’t seem to have much luck when it comes to bands. Apparently Pink, Lenny Krappits (is it me? or is he a complete waste of space poser/plagaristmindyouhegetstoshagsometopbirdswheredidigowrong
amitootallorsomethingstillatleastquozonewantstokissmyarse and Metallica blew out shows there in the last 3 weeks, so it wasn’t a surprise that it wasn’t full, as billy ain’t going to travel if they don’t think the gig’s going to happen, and who can blame them.
By the way the fruits of mine and my sister’s (and brother in law’s you perverts!!!) plus the message board’s favourite Matthew Starrit will be opening for the Quo maan at Audley End August 7th, be there or be somewhere else. I will keep reminding you all. Nepotism! I hear you say. Yes! You hear me say. OK OK!!! Gig. Great to play somewhere new, no front rowers if you get me, as in no-one I know, v. young lot, don’t know how we did, but I personally would LOVE to go back there.
Overnight to Roselare in Belgium, F***me the cloud has come back. Arrived in the middle of the most F*** O** downpour, I was sooo pissed on (in the rain) and sooo pissed off (about the gig, which I thought was outside) until I was informed that it was indoor. Cue wild F*** Y** dance, which was of course aimed directly at the cloud, I hear it was so pissed off it went directly to the UK to heartily vent its’ spleen. Bastard.
Roselare... getyourcockoutrockspecial. All except Rose Tattoo. Let’s rock! I mean let’s ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got a picture with my new best mate Angry Anderson, hope it’s around for the old web, listen you lot, for those about to rock we rose tattoo. IMHO of course. UFO was on, met the Pete of Way, who I hadn’t seen since the ITAN tour, he’s a good bloke, I think I can fairly say he’s seen his fair share of troubles.
The Trickies were as usual, they are like Quo, in that there can only be one. Yours truly, and TMFB think they’re wicked, a view not shared by Rossi/ Parfitt etc, there you go... We tore up the gig, I mean big time, something about not being the main attraction gives you a kick sometimes, tonight we was the man, trust me, Great rock moment for me. I went over to my tech Wim after rolloverlaydown and Roger Glover, you know, Saint Roger of Glover is standing at the side of the stage and clapping.
After my 3rd orgasm I was able to take it all in (Metaphorically speaking!!!) Hey, he played eff#gggggggggggggggggga#a#ccca#a#gggg in Smoke On The Water, it doesn’t get much bigger than that, you know what I’m talking about, any way we were really serious, I love the Belgians, and they love us. What more can I say. You Flemish lot know how to Party! Oh Yes! Sorry 4th orgasm, I never spent so much time on me log, nothing to do with days off of course. Tomorrow is another day, I have sunburn as I’ve been on the coast all day, ah well you can’t have it all, seeya manyana.
It’s now manyana, and I must have been on drugs last night so: after Bospop it was Weert in Holland. Beautiful day, bright sunshine, really warm. Until we got about 20k from the gig. Yup... Cloud. Didn’t rain when we played, but it had been really giving the punter what for apparently. We always travel at night nowadays, as the traffic is so heavy, the journey, which should have taken 3 hours took 6, and we arrived there 20 minutes before we went on, isn’t that thrilling folks. Terrible sound, the Howitzer Kid on the drums, but the billy were great. It was quite interesting watching the cardboard drinks holders, which probably hold about 6 pints being thrown in the air and coming down like razor blades. I was wondering who would be the first punter at a Quo gig to lose an eye.
People do weird things.
So do I.
I am a road dog.
Goodbye for now.
Edwards
Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 5 |
Part 6
To Rhino's Tourlog Index
All Photos by Mike Hrano, except Mike with green hair by Rhino
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