Rhino's XS Tourlog
Part 10: 30 minutes...
OK then, we're off. You have 30 minutes of my undivided attention, as I must get to bed by 1, and if I ain't in bed by then I'm off to me room, arf arf - one of the Rev Rock specials, that.

Just watching a tribute to Jack Niklaus on the telly, what a great bloke. Not that famous though, his name's not on the old spell check, LOSER!!! Edwards is though, rock blokes rool! You only have the half hour as I have to get an early night, because Toothpaste Factory, featuring 2 of the fruits of my loins are playing at the Guilfest tomorrow, they shall be featuring the Silver Fox on the gob iron, that's right folks, Andrew Stephen will be rocking with them on their song Mumbo Jumbo, which he played on for them, can't wait as it goes... But you don't want to hear about that, do you? You want to hear about THIS.

We went to Belfast, working with The Artist Formerly Known As Mince, that's right folks, the one and only Meatloaf. Our bus driver today told me that Mr. Meat (or is it Mr. Loaf?) was Pugsley in the original Adams family, I ain't sure about that one, still you can see the resemblance, I think. V. strange gig, as in there was a posh bit at the front of the stage, you know, payloadsmoremoneyforyourticketandthenignorethebands, quite strange really, I went to the Giants' Causeway, unbef*****lievable, in the top ten of whacky/spectacular places wot I have seen, then drove to another place up the coast whose name sadly escapes me and walked across a rope bridge 80 feet above the sea, you can see why they call Ireland the Emerald Isle, the water is sooo green, not a bad life really. I show off in front of loads of people, am paid for it, and get to see things like the Giants' Causeway, I love it, me. And also went to the Maypole in Holywood for a Guinness, the best bar ever for a few pints, as Joe Walsh said, life's been good to me so far...

Gig was OK, but as I mentioned just now you couldn't really hit Billy so to speak... As we were leaving I heard Meatloaf, who by the way is an absolutely top geezer, as are his band, well the dancers and backing singers aren't blokes, oh no sireebob, but all V. pleasant say "stand f***** up!!!!" so it wasn't just us...

On to Dublin by minibus, whereupon the Rev. Rock got a tad tired and emotional, but then so was I. Hey what's new? What's new folks is he don't be doin the drinking no more. However if you worship at the Imoutofitanddontgiveatosschurchlikeme,The Samaritan's number can be found later in this issue... 10 minutes left folks... Great gig, me and the killer walked up to the stage, the view was really something over the Irish sea, beautiful day, it really hits you when it's like that, Ireland is without a doubt one of the most beautiful countries on Gods' earth. Boiling hot, and well rockin, about 25000 billy, we let them have it, so to speak, went amazing for us, came off feeling a bit like "follow that" which I'm sure TAFKAM did, as he was contractually bound to do so, but I'm not sure that we didn't knacker the billy for him. Aah...

Been having quite a laugh looking at the message board lately. One crap version of the single appears on the web and the usual suspects start carping on about how awful it is, the new album is DEFINITELY going to be shite, and, ooh, they might stop being Quo fans. Well I got news for you. You ain't Quo fans, you like the Frantic Few or whatever it is, and that's fair enough, however, I got a really good idea for you, it's a no brainer really. If you ain't going to like it, save your doubtless hard earned cash and don't buy it! Simple really isn't it? Just think, you could buy an extra half a yard of sand to stick your head in, a new bowl of hogwash or a large sack of bullshit, with your extra dosh... unlimited opportunities. This album is where we're at today, and that's the way it is. No apologies from me there anyway.

We're now in Aberdeen, getting ready to leave for Crathes castle, tonight's venue, got a spare hour, as my son Fred is on the road with us, got him doing the bags, so he has to go off early and WORK! Hey, he's getting fed, what more can he want? Isn't it great to have some good news on telly? They’ve caught those scum that were trying to kill more innocent people. As someone not too far from this parish remarked they should be hung up by their tongues...

On to the town of Weilburg, ANOTHER of those immaculate town festivals. Bought some fish shaped things to cook um, what was it, oh yeah fish on me barbie and some old 45rpm discs by Cream, Fleetwood Mac, all in picture sleeves. Just about every single used to have them in Europe I believe, but not in UK, so 'twas nice to verily puchaseth ye olde discs of vinyl. I speaketh thus as the Squire of Aulde England, Lord Anderson of Tull appeareth with us this noble eve, indeed thus the Squire is a topeth geeserlord. His merry band of musicians, bass player, guitarist, keyboardist and drummer all needed shooting or slow painful death for being such great players. Not my tasse de tee, but rather bloody good, and it is actually a good show, our 2 bands as neither detracts form the other, and we both play to a lot of new billy.

Quite hot, but that couldn't have prepared us for Tollwood, just outside Munich. YET ANOTHER of those (cont'd p.94), Rev. Rock was not so good after the show, where we were told temperatures were at times as high as 390 degrees, though I think that's a bit on the high side. Serious, it was f****** boiling. Next day Rick's a drip, sorry, on a drip, he completely dehydrated, so home it was, as you know we hate not performing when we're supposed to, sorry folks, especially to the people I met from Switzerland who'd timed their summer holidays to coincide with the dates. We shall return...

Live 8 day, so it must be Killarney, we didn't do it, which was a real shame, but I think I'll leave it at that. More shall we say typical Irish weather than the Dublin gig, pissing down most of the day, but oddly enough the sun put his hat on an hour before we went on, which was nice... numbers 3, 4 and 5 stopped off for a couple (of pints) on the way back to Cork, then watched the end of Live8, wasn't going to talk about it, but I'm sorry, Sergeant Peppers' doesn't measure up to Rockin' for the start of a gig like that. Fact.
Still, that's the way it goes (Rossi/Frost).

Chichester. Yum. Beer. Beer. Beer. Real Ale Festival. Yum. In a tent. Best birds for ages at a Quo gig. Yum. Rhino hits the bar 5 minutes after end of gig. Ouch. (now that’s a PATHETIC attempt at humour) 3 pints in 9 minutes. OTT. 5 pints in half an hour. Daft. Rhino. Daft. Woman and bored looking daughter at front. Get wet when I spray water on them. Daughter unhappy, Yippee! Suits you madam type ladies, I'm sure some of them would have dogs with names like Chablis or Harvey, you know, not a Labour stronghold type of town, but only 5 miles from my country seat, nice place.

As the other suckers/band members enjoyed?? their 28 hour trip to Sveden, I went home for me day off, then I and I an’ me home boy (innit) RPParfitt flew out early for the gig, a great Swedish band called Refreshments opening, their name a mistake. Pat Marks, the only blind lighting engineer in rock and roll saw the sign on their dressing room, and was half way through their beer rider before someone told him that it wasn’t the catering room... That's his story anyway.

Fantastic motor cycle museum there as well, me and TMFB had a good if quick look around it, location was wonderful, stage looking directly across to a F***** summer palace kind of thing, the Smokies on (see autograph episode in earlier log), not a bad life really. Overnight to the townette of Vig, Denmark, where I think you could buy a Quo burger, obviously made with mutton... a shall we say varied bill, the band on before, Denmark's hottest hip hop band, hey great lyrics, especially that one about the hunnens nosser (dog's bollocks in Danish... do keep up.)
They were actually really good if that's yer bag. We were also really good by the way, then back to Sweden for Kungsbacka (good routing there)

Again with the Smokies and a Swedish girl country singer, who was pretty good, out on tour with band, families, babies, didn't see any pets, but looked they was having a real good time. Tell you what, those Smokies are a real nice lot, can't help it if the guitarist Mick likes Leeds United can I?

Another thing. The Scandinavians don't seem to drink like they used to at gigs any more, it seems most of the alcohol now ends up in their bodies via the mouth. as opposed to in their hair via the air (Air hair lair. Posh greeting), so they seem to appreciate the music more, as we appreciate them appreciating us appreciati...Coat.

Headbang animal and Family there, geezer...
Right Smuegly Equerie, Edwina Cuerie.
No I don't know what that means either...


PS. Kris Kristofferson was in the gym in Ireland. Old bugger I thought, then realised as I was leaving he’d been running for 90 minutes, fit old bugger I thought...

Awesome pics by
Christie 'the Duck' Goodwin and Patrick 'The Chief' Cusse


To Rhino's Tourlog Index

XS All areas Tourlog:
Part 1  |   Part 2  |   Part 3  |   Part 4  |   Part 5
Part 6  |   Part 7  |   Part 8  |   Part 9  |   Part 11
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