Got to be quick here, in Holland leaving soon for the Arrow festival, where the mighty huntin' shootin' an a fishin' TED NUGENT no less ladies and gentlemen boys and girls is on 2 acts before us, beautiful weather, doesn't make up for the SHITE weather on virtually all of the German outdoor shows. Sometimes it feels GOOD to use the shift key, makes me feel kind of IMPORTANT, as if I have SOMETHING INTERESTING TO SAY. Which of course I haven't, so shan't do that one again. Ok, ONE MORE TIME FOR THE WORLD, no really that's it. Or not.
After experiencing such recent crap weather (the Englishman's' favourite topic of conversation) it makes Dubai and Oman seem such a long time ago, in fact it was about 4 weeks ago, talk about wet and cold, That was in fact the Chablis I was drinking at the poolside bar in the 42 degree heat, what a blast, literally, getting off the flight from Canberra, it was like whoosh! Sorry, that needs to be made important. WHOOSH! Ah, that's better. Just incredible.
Me and Andrew went out to the market next morning, looking at some herbs when this guy says, "you want herbs?" "Maybe" we says, " I also have the grass" he says. You could have knocked me down wiv a fevver, you hear about how serious it is to get caught with drugs in the Gulf, and this kid I've never seen before is offering me grass 8 seconds after I've met him. But the worrying thing is that I must look the type! Needless to say we refused his offer, but 10 minutes later Iíd managed to get crack and crystal meth, so all's well that ends well. Except that I was caught, and am therefore writing this with my di(are you sure you're not on crack and meth?).
Alright, I maybe went a bit over the top there. Dubai, land of Malls and bizarreness, only 2 per cent of the population are indigenous (I think that means really clever), a total mix of nationalities. I actually think it's a bit of a shithole, the amount of development going on is truly vast, (trivia fact, they have the highest density of cranes in the world in Dubai) it seems like there's enough apartments being built for the whole population to have about 17 each. Our promotersí rep told us there are 2 seasons there. Hot and bloody hot. Went to the beach with the crew and Herr. Portly, and a smashing and splashing time was had by all.
Found out thereís a bit of love in the air after the Oz trip, isnít that nice, aah. The gig, outside, (that reads like I want a fight, that bit) it was only 36 degrees on stage, compared to the 44 it had been during the day when we went on. Needless to say I wasnít wearing a string vest under my stage shirt. The Pat Marks turned the lights on. WHOOSH!! (see important words) I was soaked in sweat in about a minute, I actually lost a kilo during the gig, so I just had to go to the bar to rehydrate myself and watch the Arse get beat by the Barse.
I thought this log was going to be a quick one, over in about 5 minutes just like when IĎm doing the sex thing, but itís turning into an epic. About 2 and a half thousand expats, and also a few front rowers, the only one whose board name I know is Pepsi, but as she slags off Brentford and my voice I shanít mention her. Right Pepsi? I couldnít tell you if it was good or not I was so hot. After another tantrum about the early flight the next day to Oman (we went later) I toddled off to bed. I really am getting to like this rock star feet stamping thing. Why, thatís twice in 20 years IĎve done it. Quite a strange feeling playing in Dubai again as it was at the same venue as my first ever gig with Quo all that time ago, funny old life, innit?
On to Oman, chalk and cheese, really quiet, of course just as hot, the Killer and me went for a swim, sorry bath in the sea, what a beautiful place, in fact I liked it so much Iím going to try and get there for a holiday next year. We played on the hotel lawn to about 800 very pissed up expats, no fun really. I mean itís their choice, but if youíre going to buy a beer, I thoroughly recommend DRINKING IT (if itís aboot, thatís Scottish for about, beer it deserves to be in capitals) as opposed to throwing it in the air. One bloke there was really really into the band, thing was he only know a few of the words and was trying to sing along, and also had the sense of rhythm of a Rhino (eh?), he was so funny to watch, had to be there, it made mine and Andrewsí night, but he was so sent it was great as well.
Home, blimey, bit of a shock really, great to see everyone, except didnít see my Max, Ďcos he Ďs at Uni. Itíll be more than 2 months since I last saw him when I get to see him, which is the longest time Iíve not seen him since he was born, I know what I mean. I know I miss him like mad, what will me and that Kath do when theyíve all left home?
In no time it was the NEC gig. I donít know what to say really, except when I looked out in the gig as we started it was like being at a party with 10,000 of your mates. Something really special went on that night, I donít know whether we were any good or not ( Iíll soon find out), I just kept looking out at everyone, and thinking this is a QUO AUDIENCE, for real. You know what? Iím really pleased all the moaners on the message board didnít go, seriously, thank you all very much. It means a lot.No doubt you wonít be buying the DVD when it comes out either. Again, thank you.
Right thatís off me chest. Just seen the artwork for the DVD, I look GREAT! Didnít look at anyone else of course...
I suppose Iíd better be going, not only is TED NUGENT on, but so are the mighty (ish-actually I think theyíre crap) Witter snakker. Thatís what this girl said to me when we went to Nassau to record possibly one of the worst albums of all time, Perfect Remedy. She pointed at a poster of a band and said "Jaahn, who are these guys, Witter snakker?" "Silly car (cockney for cow)" I said, "thatís Whitesnake!" Ok you had to be there, but David and his big haired chums will be preening and strutting directly before us...
Weíre outta here!!!
Gabba Gabba heyxxx