One hour, that's all you get of my incredibly expensive time. We're in Sweden, where it's so clammy you could make chowder out of it. I think the cloud's found us, it pissed down for an hour or 2 yesterday, but we got through, the roof on the stage was a very good idea.
Right, 1.40, set alarm, let's go...
Cardiff, hmmm. Gig moved indoors for the reason that it wasn't selling well enough, fact of life, it doesn't always go swimmingly all the time, so we played the Arena. Yeah yeah, over exposing themselves etc. but shit happens sometimes. A bit odd, playing there in the middle of the year, but it was OK. Lovely to meet the new members of Staff at Roland, whoarr!!! Lovely, again, say that with a Welsh accent for the correct emotion. That one's for our, sorry my, Brazilian readers.
On to Henley, where I thought we were going to die the proverbial death, great to see our billy in full evening dress, the women looked nice as well (crap attempt at humour there), we really went down a storm, taken the 100 yards from the dressing room to the gig on an amazing handmade riverboat, in the water too (see last brackets). Just because there're Toffs an' all vat doesn't mean they can't get down with ones' bad self. I'm sure they'd not had anything like us at the Henley Festival but I'll be really surprised if we don't play there again, blew them away we did.
4 days at home, then flight to Sweden for the current tour, meeting up with local right rockin rockabilly kind of revival band (even though they write the songs themselves) the Refreshments and our good mates from the countryish definitely who the f*** is Alice, the right riveting Smokie, who do more gigs per year then us, which takes some doing, I can tell ya.
One thing I must say about Sweden. Wow! Never in the field of human potential exchange of bodily fluids has there been as much strain on my neck as yet another goddess walks by, lucky bastads (that's also the name of a gig we played) you Swedish blokes are. My sons came over to Gothenburg, and Max my eldest tells me he hates the Swedes, as the women are totally messing with his thought processes!
Well that's how it has been for 2 weeks now folks, like I say, it's a dirty job but someone's got to do it...
Luleå first off, right up in the North, the big rock show kicks off, but not until me and Terry, the bassist from the Smokies got well and truly wrecked in the Hotel bar the night before. I was so drunk I went and had Macdonalds, however, even being really bladdered it still tasted crap. One thing about that place, it's consistent.
That's also why I'm not drinking...
Nice gig, as all of them have really, we thought people would be more pissed than they were, as has been the case many times before, but it isn't the case at all on this tour. I suppose you could say this isn't exactly a METALMAYHEM type gig, that's probably a lot to do with it. 25 minutes so far, not bad.
On to Umeå, where I spent one of the most boring days of my life on the thirsty work tour, it was so cold and dark and crap. It was that bad I can remember it 12 years on! This time, it's summer, everyone's out and happy, and I had a great few hours walking around looking at the local beauty spots, if you see what I mean.
Nice enough show, on to Sunsvall where I recall playing mini golf in the afternoon, and I think I did the 18 holes in 221, or something like that, Tiger Edwards not.
First real kick arse show, it's so laid back here, the first ones were good as well, but it's just so easy to saunter around and take everything with a kind of mañana attitude, which is not exactly how we perform at our best.
Day off in a beautiful (Welsh please) hotel in the middle of nowhere, stunning it was, big walking and lots of "not a bad life really" comments floating around, out door chess etc. On to Karlstad, at last a gig I remember, by the water, here, is this right?
If a woman was, if you will, astride Terry the bassist in shall we say a compromising position, would she be on top of old Smokie? Suit yourselves...
Day off in Eskilstuna, where myself, the Rev. Rock Parfait, the man from Barnes and the Killer went to watch the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, best town so far for the lookers, I mean it shouldn't be allowed.
Lovely gig in a park by a river, we've actually done the same place before, it's just soooo laid back. Crap, Daisy, Essex girl and Pepsi? I think were there. That's £1 60 by my reckoning. Thanks in advance...
Vaxgo, the first gig I thought with quite a lot of tired and emotional billy, a bit quiet for my liking, but hey, it's your money to spend. Isn't it funny, parents tell their kids off for swearing, but EVERYONE in the gigs shouts out "Who the fuck is Alice" and it's OK. Getting old that's what I am. I should be on that Grumpy old men TV show. I'd give them what for. Bring back the cat, conscription, and ban the Police from looking so bloody young.
Gothenburg. Always been good to us, and no exception this time. Packed, loud and kicking, in the Botanical gardens and 2 days off to follow with one wife and 2 male fruits of loins. Out on a jolly next day, fantastic boat trip, got very drunk, as did wife, so took her and fruits to massive funfair/theme park next day, what a Bastad, which coincidentally happens to be the name of the town we played yesterday. Gosh, I'm getting so current, almost up to date. Can't have that... See you in November then.
You know what, this has not even taken a hour, as opposed to a night version, which might take, oh, I don't know, hour fifteen. I've also become addicted to Sudoku, which is a right Bastad as well.
Now leave me alone, begone x
57 minutes, start to finish. You all owe me 8p which should equal my £4.59 per hour usual rate. OK, for that smartarse the Quoman (40p please), I KNOW 8 doesn't go into 459, right? Oh, and by the way, Smokie beat Quo 7/5 in a 6 a side footie match on the day off in Gothenburg. But at least Toot nutmegged Mick from the aforementioned. Lucky shit winners...
All pics on this page by Roger Johansson.
More pictures from the Swedish tour:
By Gert Ohlsson - www.statusquo.com
By Tomas Johansson - www.flickr.com
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7
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