Part 5: The first gigs of 2007
Rhino! You want to know what I'm doing? Well I'll tell ya anyway. I'm lying in my bunk, listening to Jim Reeves as we drive our way through Germany en root (check the deliberate spelling mistake - of course it should have been ON root) to Wembley Stadium, Wembley, England for tomorrow's CONCERT FOR DIANA. Yes folks, for round about 235 of our once world dominating British seconds we shall be a-hogging the BBC1 teevee and appearing in the flesh as it were (bad idea) in front of 80,000 Princess Diana lovers (now listening to Jimmy Ruffin-class) playing Rocking all over the World, Not nervous at all, maybe I should be. I writ that just before the Diana gig, which was an OK day. I know the guys from The Feeling, and hanging out with them pre-show (oh m'gaad, I'm a bona fide rawk star now) they were telling me they were bricking it, you'd never have known it from the telly though, wouldya? Didn't they do well. And it couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of yoof.

Not a lot else to say about it really, except that the sound on stage and on telly was shite, I thought Rick's voice sounded truly appalling, somewhere between a bastard file and a cat being, well I won't go into that bit on the grounds of animal cruelty. It always helps when you can hear what you're singing on the stage, if not one can oversing (if that's the right word in this instance) thus distorting microphones, and none of us could hear, still, as long as Diana's spirit wasn't watching...
I must say the surprise of the day for me was Duran Duran. Not only were they truly awful, they even got to be awful for 3 songs, AND they could hear themselves!

Enough bitching for one day, how are you ladies and gentlemen boys and girls and assorted pets? In the pink I trust. I'm in the middle of a 2 day trip from France to Norway, driving through the country of Lurpak butter, wonderful wonderful Copenhagen and Danish bacon. That's right, Austria. God I'm such a laugh aren't I!! Crazy, that's me!! Ho f****** ho!

Only 15 hours travelling today, that's after the 18 yesterday, still that gives me the chance to tell it like it is in the crazy zany and anything else that ends with any, although off the top of me head I can't think of anything, as wanky doesn't rhyme with zany world of the Status Quo... Deep joy.

We've had 5 months off already this year, which was nice, a break sometimes does you good, although we have recorded a new CD in that time, and appeared, along with Jordan's tits, at the OK magazine party. I did some shows with the fruits of my loins, as in Woodedz, thanks to all of those of you wot cum to see us, great fun, especially the Hope and Anchor in Islington, London, which we're going to be doing again on September 22nd, which just happens to be Freddie's 18th, so you can all buy him a drink legally, in fact I'd appreciate it you would as I'm saving at the minute.

Back to the real(ish) world and it was on the bus to Hannover, Germany, an outdoor gig for 20000, which also featured an appearance by my ex-employer Ms. K. Wilde, I got to the gig, and suddenly I heard a shout of Rhino Rhino Rhino!! It was the lovely Kim and her lovely brother Ricky, see what I mean about rawk gaad? Great to see them again, strange line-up though, the Wilde bunch and then OMD, whose music I can't stand, however they were bloody good at it, and every song they do you realise you've heard it on the radio or seen it on TOTP, nice guys as well, big Spinal Tap fans, can't be bad can it?

Noice (oo arrr) hot day for it as well, which is more than can be said for virtually all of the other gigs this (and I use the word loosely) summer. Nice audience, a cheap ticket, so you play to lots of billy you haven't before. I love that, because you get to see how good you are, as in if the audience stays until the end when you're on last, because they might well have come to see someone else, Job done.

Home for a little while, you realise just how much you HAVE'NT done that you intended to and then it's back on yer 'eads boys.

Nuremberg. Sitting by the river reading me book, lovely day, thinking about getting back to the hotel for sound check when I feel a drop of rain. Nothing to worry about, the sky looked fine 10 minutes ago. Well it doesn't now. It's got the right hump. 30 seconds later it is PISSING down, I can assure you. Thunder,lightning, wind (that was my linsen/lentil soup repeating actually) and generally effing horrible weather for an hour, then it all stops, sun comes out and all's right with the world again. Felt very strange doing our own gig again, and I know we played too short a set. Sorry about that, the last thing we want to do is short change you lot, it was, I think the best way to describe it is a misunderstanding, and we won't make that mistake again.

From there to Heidenheim, Bavaria, which is actually where my German brother in law comes from, and a large very receptive crowd. I think it started raining during Rain, but it didn't last long or deter the Billy. Stonking good support band, local I think, they even had the good taste to cover a D.A.D. song.

On to Bonn, early gig with a decibel limit, no fun for those of us that like it LOUD. I like it loud because I'm deaf, what's your excuse? Rock music sounds better at volume? Hah, what do you know? You're right of course, I love it loud, but there's an official limit, I wonder if it's like the pubs where the power shuts down if you play too loud? Don't think so.

On to Dortmund, where I was luckily enough to catch a rare strain of gastroenteritis, which meant I was throwing up all day before the gig, and just about made it through without throwing up or passing out. I felt rotten, and don't remember much about the gig for all the wrong reasons!

We then drove back to London overnight to rehearse for the Diana concert as we were using rented gear for it (waste of time-it sounded so crap on the gig) then Francis and Rick drove back to Berlin straight away, mentale to me, but to each his own. 3 days at home for numbers 3,4 and 5 then a flight to Berlin and a concert at Spandau, in a beautiful place, Zitadel it was called, so maybe it was an old fort, I dunno. We rocked hard, but would you believe this place also had a sound limit, I could see from the Welsh nutters that were there (not you Daisy) that it wasn't loud enough, however a nice large audience, and the topesst totty in a while, so it wasn't all bad really.

Then on to Leer, near Holland for a CO-HEADLINER. (rawk speak) with Toto. I walked into town, man, it stank. There's the country smell and then there's Leer, you could almost see it, the air was so thick with the smell of doodoos. While in town I saw a sign to a village called Weener, which did make I laugh. Mind you, in France on Saturday I walked along a street called Rue le Bastard, only in France...

The gig was moved indoors, to a hall in Emden, the local town. What a bloody good idea, it chucked it down all day, would have been totally gruesome to have gone ahead outdoors. Boiling hot gig, shit sound but I love it like that, hot and noisy, bring it on...

Osnabruck, total shithole of a gig, but great billy, including the aforementioned Welsh nutters, nice one guys, good rockin' tonite, 2 great opening acts, one metal one mental, and no noise problems, Andy May the soundman was quick to exploit this by a wacking up his knob. The volume knob.

Back on t'bus to Wembley, which is where I came in. Now if you'll excuse me I have some serious waiting and sitting around to do. Bye X

All pics by Dave Salt.

Just Doin' It 2006/7 tourlog:
Part 1  |   Part 2  |   Part 3  |   Part 4

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