Cooee! Only me, I'm back, like it or not.
In Clermont Ferrand (pronounced Clermont Ferrand) backstage man with the big rock show, I'm am SO and roll, listening to an Edith Piaf CD, la Vie en Rose, quelle chanson. It's also a great song. Why did she have that nickname though, "the little Spanner"? Maybe it should have been Spaniard but I always thought she was French. What a country, has to be my favourite place, we haven't been on tour here in 20 years. You know I can't understand why we left it so long. They must be starved of good stuff, because let's face it, most if not all French pop music is shit. I'm not spoiling for an argument here, it's just a fact, innit?
Anyway, the show must go on, or not in one case, more of so here 'tis, complete unadulterated frontier jibberish...
So where was I? That's right, on the bus to somewhere, Cork it in fact was, to be sure, top o'the morning to ya Paddy, moine's a point o'guinness and other impossibly condescending stereotypical statements...
Everyone went in to the hotel for breakfast except me, of course I know better, I'm going into town for my breakfast, a good Irish fry up. Sitting there in Rory Gallagher square, reading the Cork Examiner, life is good etc then I got my food. Now I've never eaten Nylon, but if I did I'm sure it would taste exactly like my sausages did, beans came by the clump, the egg could have cost you teeth if you tried to eat it, and I was nearly arrested for being in possession of a sawn off hash brown. Isn't it funny how little things stand out (well it is in my case, arf arf), as I can't remember the gig at all.
Only kidding, I can. It was in a tent, and I met one of my biggest fans at the met and greet. Well, she's not physically big, in fact au contraire, but it was v. nice to meet her, I think she's called Rhinosbabe on the MB, that makes 3 me fans anyway. Blinder show, nice and hot, and very noisy audience. Straight back to the hotel for a few very very very nice pints of Murphys (like Guinness but a bit sweeter I think) and a leisurely and drunken trip back over the sea and home for 3 days... result.
Off to Petworth, my entire family there, and a piddleyarsed stage, I hate those ones that look like a bouncy castle. We sold it out last time, but the weather has been so totally SHITE this summer that I'm not at all surprised, actually it was quite a nice day for the gig. Support act Macara, a young band with some way to go but a good degree of potential. By the way, we've got an absolute BELTING opening act for France and Germany, they're called the Trews. Crap name, but if you're coming to see us on this tour, get there early, I reckon they're really going to happen, their site address is: www.thetrewsmusic.com. It's got a link to their myspace, it'll give you a flavour, but that doesn't really do them justice, 'cos live they kick like a fucking mule. So there.
We did the picture backstage at Petworth you can see on the "4th chord" album cover or as you MBers call it ISOTFC. I don't know what that means, but anyway. Why do I try and be funny? I don't know either. How much is a Petworth? Where was I?
The next day was special. We went straight to Rennes in France to play the Bobital festival. Now don't forget we have a lot to prove over here, not having been for a long time, 3rd on the bill behind Marilyn Manson and Placebo. Quite a strange line-up, and 30,000 mainly young fans, this was going to be a challenge. Well did we rise to it. Did we? The STATUS QUO is in town ladies and gentlemen, and F*** all you 'well it can't be as good as Woolongong 1863 lot', we blew the roof off the place ( well we would have done if it had one), a few spinetingling moments for all of us, one of those incredibly rare occasions when, at the end of the show, each of us said how fantastic it had been, the Placebo guys said to say how much they'd rocked out to us, which was nice as believe it or not, most of us are fans of them.
Edith Piaf is now getting on my tits by the way. Keep up...
Actually this tour, starting at Petworth has been the worst routed I've ever done. After Petworth to France (not bad) then France to Norway (bad) to Sweden (pretty bad) then to Finland (idiotic) to Holland (are you kidding?) to the UK (not bad)... carbon footprint? Moi?
I digress (really?) Langesund, Norway, beautiful townette, really so picturesque, I looked at the venue the day before and saw the stage. It was about 2 feet by 8 inches. I thought "we ain't playing here" when a truck arrives, and in 2 hours the truck itself has become a full sized stage, that's the modern world for you ladies and gentlemen boys and girls. You never really associate Norway with good food, well I don't. Maybe it's a sign of getting older that you think and talk about food more, well Andrew BOWN (61) does, can't you tell by the size of him? Anyway, the food at the gig was so good, we had (cont'd p94). But it was nice.
The Scandinavians are a mighty fine looking race of people are they not? And they all look so bloody clean and healthy. Eeuk! Set was the same as one we'd done before by the way. Mr. Angry on the MB: DISGUSTED BY THE SET LIST! "I'm not going anyway as the current band are crap, but this set list is beyond it and I'm going to register my protest by not going, even though I wouldn't have gone anyway and I'm going to see State of Quo 'cos they rock the house." Yeah they do. I love Paul and Dave, that singer, not so sure, but whatever gets you where you want to be.
Then to the start of the Sweden tour with THE CHUCK BERRY!! Oh yesindeedee folks, it be him. In a place called Jarvso and pronounced Yervseh (or something like that).
Saw that Pepsi and assorted Britchicks, beautiful location, 7000 Svedes, all went well, no cloud, watched Chuck, he can still belt out a song vocally, but I think the guitar playing has gone through the slips quite a bit, but if he wants to play the same song twice in a set, then let him. After all, he more or less single-handedly wrote the basis of popular music as it now is. A good band he has, 2 of his kids in it (um, good idea that, I might just try it).
All I'm going to say about Stockholm is that there weren't many people there, it totally pissed down all the way through the gig, those of you who were there and lasted the course need either testing a medal. If it were me I'd give you the medal THEN have you tested, Bye, a bientot x
PS. France WILL be beaten by the English Lions on Saturday, remember where you read it first.
In Search Of The Fourth Chord tourlog 2007/8: