Right, I've started. However, you'll have to wait as I've seen a camper van showroom outside the dressing room so I'm off. I should be back unless I buy one and set sail on the Spanish main, whereupon I shall sink immediately and lose loads of money, so I shan't be doing that. Oh nosiree Bob.
As my son Maximilian Victor Edwards is currently being educated in the US of A, I shall for one time only dear reader occasionally slip into the American vernacular, which in itself sounds painful don't you think? Now hold it right there, 'til I'm thru, goddarnit.
Right I'm back now; you can't half spend some dosh on a camper if you want. Their most expensive was about a hundered grand thousand bucks dollar euros actually. I reckon that's how someone who says nucular instead of nuclear would say a hundred, a hundered.
While on the subject of America, which I am now, what an amazing thing has happened there re Mr, sorry the second coming of God Obama. Fantastic. Brilliant. These are but 2 of the words I use to describe myself, however in this instance I shall also use them to describe the US election result. The American people have done what less than a decade ago would have been unthinkable, I take my hat off to you Has anyone noticed that in the UK we don't have ONE black person in either the Cabinet or shadow Cabinet. And we're the home of Democracy right? Yeah, we are. Back to Barrack baby. Of course he was helped by the Economic downturn and the fact the present incumbent is such a nob, but what an incredibly bold move by the electorate of a country not known for it's willingness to change direction. Max was there (lucky beggar) and he told me the atmosphere was amazing, I'm sure it must have been...
Now all they have to do is keep him alive. Now. Sarah Palin, sorry, the first female President of America, mark my words. What d'ya think guys? Well you would, wouldn't you, eh? Lurve them glasses. I'm off to Boston for Christmas by the way. Just thought you might like to know that, sorry I'm a learning da lingo before we go. I already know how to "have a nice day", is there more? Condescending? Moi? I'm enjoying this stuff, writin' an' all that. So, preamble over, my memory being what it is I may not cover all, but I'll have a go, sooooooooooooo...
Lots of hard work at rehearsals on the new stuff and the screens, we are finally moving into the noughties and at the same time playing a song we've never played before from 1968. Why, that makes us... Why that makes us...It's coming... my brain hurts… here it is... backward looking forward thinking progressive retrospective futuristic historical.
Mine's a large red wine thank you. Phew!!!! That was tough. The cell was working overtime there.
Yeah, well we worked really hard man, a good 20 minutes a day, it's so easy doing what we do, we never think about it at all, it all just falls into place on the day. Actually I think we were all a little bit nervous except the Fresh Prince, who never seems to get nervous about anything. The man could be a God, but I don't think he's on the list at present. Now I like to think, and I'm probably not wrong, that a Newcastle audience would let you know in no uncertain terms if they didn't like your act and conversely would let you know the same way if they loved it. They loved it. It went swimmingly (yah?) well, no shite. You can rehearse 'til the cows come home, but when you play to any Billy you know straight away what works, and it all did, which was fantastic after all the work we've put in.
Back to the present, in Besançon, France (yippee!!!!!!)I must be doing something right, Ricardo just brought me a Kawfee, he's a real Jo Shmoe, what a guy, waydego dude!
Sorry, back to September, seems like SUCH a long time ago now, and on to the delightful seaside resort of time warp/Llandudno. By the way, there ain't nuffink wrong with a time warp town. And it's got a Lidl 3 minutes walk from the gig, yeehah! Also the second best fish and chips I have ever had, if you're ever there it's where the tram that goes up the Great Orme finishes, superb, even down to the metal teapot where the tea goes all over the table as you're vainly trying to get it into the cup. This was a posh nosh fish bar, even had a tablecloth for the tea to spill onto! White of course... I'd just been up there with Andy May and the Fresh Prince, who'd have thought then what was going to happen in a few days time?
Stayed at the Best Western, winner of THE INTERNATIONAL HOTTEST HOTEL OF THE YEAR for the 28th year running... Just ridiculous.
On to a day off in Bristol, where Rick and I did the most rock 'n roll thing possible and had pie and mash in a pub, we are just sooooo mad!!
Bought my new stage shoes as well, in another shop though (har feckin' har), then went 'ome to see my nearest and dearest (if they were all gay they'd be my nearest and queerest, n'est pas?).
Should have known the Fresh Prince (soon to become indubitably the not so fresh Prince) was on the way down, he looked absolutely knackered on the gig. I asked what was up later and he said to me, and I quote "John, I'm just staying alive" Ah ah ah ah stayin' alive stayin' alive.
Actually he didn't burst into song, which was a shame, you'd love to hear him singing but I reckon he was on the way down with something then.
Oxford, did the live CD, gave my copy away so I haven't heard it yet. However, you peeps on the Message board seem to like it, so that's good enough for me.
On to Croydon, which incidentally is an Anglo Saxon name, meaning crocus valley (I learnt that off of Eggheads on the telly, mine and the one known as Ricardo Parfittos (que?) favourite show.
Hot loud and sweaty, and my mum, the oldest swinger in town came along with Mae Freddie and that Kath. D'ya know what? I really love my wife, just thought I'd mention that for no particular reason, I just do. Now please do my ironing darlingxxxx.
Went up to Harrogate on day of show, Fresh Prince coming down with a cold. No biggie, he's had them before. By the way, our first Harrogate show was the best we've ever done there I reckon. Halifax, Ricardo =60 years young. I bought a very nice Father Christmas light which changes colour for my bunk, £1.99 very well spent I can assure you, and had a nice coffee in the Piece Hall. If you're ever up that way, worth a visit, trust me, I've been to Netto.
Day off in Manchester, out with Matt all day museuming, we were going to walk into town but he decided to return to the Hotel for a shoe changing experience.
The rest as they say is history... Hull - Doesn't ring a bell, Blackpool - Can't say I recall, Manchester - No, Cambridge(sorry folks) - No, Southend - Doesn't ring a bell, Ipswich - Not that I recall, Plymouth - No.
As in we never did them, but the bright side is that we do get to do them, albeit next year, 'cos it means we start again in January, and as you may or may not have guessed folks, I really like what I do. A lot.
Au revoir from Besançon, Monsieur Edwardsxxx
PS. Check out the picture from Braunschweig, it's an apartment block I "happened" (USA speak) upon whilst walking last week, called the Rizzi House. It kind of made me wonder if that's what the inside of my brain looks like. I wouldn't be surprised... Byee.
The Pictures tourlog 2008: