Rhino's Pictures Tourlog 2008/9  
Part 7 - Bonjour!:
Bonjour mes petits choux ! Comment ca va ? I don't know where all the squiggly bits are on the computer they use in French to display all the accents, so that's probably complete gibberish. What I'm trying to say is Hello my little cabbages! How are ya then, alright? Apparently that's a term of endearment in France, which is where I am. Yesterday, I was in Carcassonne, a stunning walled city, (still there today in fact as we gig here tonight). I mean me, not the city. Actually that's still there as well otherwise we couldn't do the gig. That's a bad start folks, if I were you I'd turn off my set now.

I was so reassured that the French haven't changed, even though they seem to lurve le Kebab and Le Beurgeur King. I was trying to pass some people talking on the pavement. They were taking up all the space, even though they didn't have to. Would they move ? Would they bollocks. Ah, I thought that's getting there. Then I went for lunch and the restaurant toilet was filthy and stinking. Last night I went to see Depeche Mode. They were awful. The crowd loved them. I knew then I shouldn't have worried. The French haven't changed at all. God I love this country. I do, really.

Oh well, back to business. Finished our fantastic Irish tour, wife still on crutches and wheelchair, lots of pain and hard work for rest of family. 2 months and counting since she did O'Donahues' tear, for that is what her frankly dreadful knee injury is known by. The only consolation is it won't kill her unless she dies of boredom. I know I'm repeating myself but I don't care. As I'm writing this it's more than 6 months and she's still not back to normal, mind you she never was normal...

Off to Southend for a 2 night extravaganza, Mr. Pants for 300 years was there, and I reckon he had a right rockin' time, which was good to see. Met the lovely Dee and friend there, 2 bottles of wine for Rhino the wino and some Brentford paraphernalia will get you anywhere with me! Really, thanks a lot Dee, most thoughtful of you. By the way, thinking of wine, which I invariably am, if you fancy a really stupid laugh, go to Youtube and search for "Chin review 2" Quite mad. On to Plymouth where we played a STORMING show, with a really noisy billy. I looked on the message board next day and some people were saying how quiet and immobile the crowd were. Well I was at a different show folks. Funny town Plymouth, it had the shit bombed out of it in the war, but the Hoe and all the little back streets are still really nice. And of course there's the gin...

Next day Portsmouth, where in the local Museum they had a Denim exhibition, which was well interesting, but no Quo stuff there!. I mean, talk about incomplete. So I went and promised them some of our stage stuff and of course never got it together, sorry Portsmouth museum. Great place for a visit though. Gig hot and loud, also Valentine's Day. Can you guess how many cards the sexiest man in rock got? Well I don't know about him, but I didn't get any. I hate you all Goodbye.

It's OK, I'm over it now. But only 'cos the super Bees hit the top of the league that day (and eventually won the title. Oh yes. Bring on the big boys. Yeovil and Tranmere home AND away next season). I always enjoy the Portsmouth gig, which must explain why we're not doing it on the 2009 tour.

Next to Cambridge Corn Exchange. Not the same without my son Max there, but what a beautiful city. I left school (it was quite a special school, believe me!) with virtually no qualifications. I have no complaints whatsoever about the hand life has dealt me except for my criminal record, one part of which was perfectly defined by Keith Richards: "I've never had problems with drugs, only policemen" Oooer, getting a bit me me me here. Anyway, what do you think about me? What I'm getting round to saying in the end is that I would have loved to go to University, I know there's that grass always greener bit, etc. but I met a lot of friends of Max, what lovely clever people they are. Likewise when the family went to Boston this year to see him as he got a scholarship to Harvard (smartarse), he wasn't going to show us the insides of the John Harvard library and the desk where he worked until we demanded to be taken there. It was vast and mind blowing, and I couldn't a little feeling of jealousy. Anyway, fuck that shit, where's the sex and drugs and rock n' roll?

Just for a change I digressed. There's always top notch female of the species at Cambridge, this year no exception. And we did the gig! Last year that was the end of the tour for a while, when he, de monsieur le Killer, he go sick Last 2 coming up, Ipswich it be sir. Strange town architecturally is Ipswich, are you SURE it didn't get bombed to shit? I think we recorded a live CD there; yes we did, because Mr. Michael Paxman, sonic arbiter of this parish and myself got mightily drunk in Hotel bar. Cue lots of "you're the nishest bloke I know etc. Cut to important lunchtime meeting with business advisor next day. Oh shit. My brain hurts. Good gigs though. Right that's enough for that bit of the tour. Even me, Mr. memory man is starting to forget some of the hysterically funny amazing things that happen during every day on the road and in my mind. Oooer! Au revoir.

Right, back to the future, as it was then and isn't now. Eh?

Norway, and a festival with "Swiss rockers Gotthard" it says here. I thought they were pretty rockin' actually, although the out front sound wasn't good at all. All in all a good ticket I reckon. Norway. Beautiful country. Norway. Nice people. Norway. HOW MUCH! I know I'm the meanest man in rock, but the man from Barnes and me went out to dinner on the quayside at a town called Haugesund, the 11th largest town in Norway. I made that up it's actually the 14th largest, hey I got pages to fill here! House wine was a good bargain at forty five quid a bottle, and I would have thought they were bringing us a cow each the money they wanted for a steak. I don't know how they can afford it, especially with the drink, but more on that later.

Kath off crutches now, we're in for the long haul here. Bedgebury, Kent. We were amazing/average/crap, select any one of the 3, I can't remember. The opening act was turgid/amazing/dull. It's coming back to me now, it was Luke White, or Luke warm as somebody in the touring party referred to him. Good luck to them, I think they're going to need it. Cue massive worldwide success for Luke White and band..

On to Dortmund for a gig with the mighty Purple people, where we met up with our old tech Nuthatch. I don't know his real name, as he once identified some birdsong as that of a nuthatch, so Nuthatch he became. What a nice bloke. In fact he's the "stand up and fight!" voice on the record of In the Army now". There you go folks, fax on the wax.. Great show, it's always good touring/gigging with Deep Purple, an excellent pairing if you ask me. That Roger Glover, what a nice bloke he is. I actually had a conversation with him about the making of Machine Head a few days later, oh m'god!

Braintree, sorry Aintree races next, got a hot tip from my mate Cindy, put a score on it, yippee, it came... 4th. We don't talk any more. Hmm, could write a song for Cliff Richard with that title. Nah, it'd never work.. Only kidding Cindy, just give me 20 sovs and we're back on. Great location, lots of casual, if you'll pardon the pun, punters, I saw possibly the most drunken woman I've ever seen staggering around the winners enclosure, on the grass where the horses parade, it was absolutely hilarious, as someone said, she must have fallen at the first, boom boom!

Flew of to Munich for another gig with the Purples and the Hooters, who I thought were excellent, perfect afternoon festival band, I would actually pay to go and see them. There, I've said it. Fantastic weather, we rocked the house, well we would have done if it was indoors, so we rocked the field instead. Right, c'est fini maintenant. I'm of for some great French food and a glass of Rose. (pronounced ros-a-y. I told you, I can't f (cont'd page 94) So long suckers.


All Pics by Christie Goodwin

The Pictures tourlog 2008/9:

Part 1  |   Part 2  |   Part 3  |   Part 4  |   Part 5
Part 6  |   Part 7  |   Part 8  |   Part 9  |   Part 10

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