Let me inform you of my purchases since 11.00 am, this day October 30th, in the year of our Lord 2009 in the stunning town of Bamberg, Germany, sorry Bayern:
I puncture repair outfit (bicycle). Cost: 1 Euro 50 cents. 1 LED torch (with batteries). Cost: 2 Euros. Erasers. Cost: 55 cents. I pair of +1 strength reading glasses (black I'll have you know. Not the lenses fool!). Cost: 2 Euros. 5 DVDs (comedy and drama). Cost: 20 Euros. Music DVDs (Thin Lizzy and Toto, for the Killer). Cost: 14 Euros 98 cents. Total: Hey, I just found the Euro sign on me laptop. Whoopee!
Where was I? I appear to have also found the italic button, though I don't want to. I'll just be an hour trying to find it.
Ah, got it. Now, for the third time, where was I? Ah yes, €40-03 cents. That's Christmas taken care of then...
I just watched an advert on CNN for a special shaving cream for "men of colour". For fecks sake, why don't they say "for black skin, or black men?" The world's gone stark raving mad if you ask me. Oops, sorry, I misrembered (nuspeak for forgot), you can't say that, it's racist. No it's not. I also read about Germaine Greer (Australian Sheila/feminist) slagging off a book and encouraging other women to send the author pictures of their boobs without a bra because he had mentioned he preferred them supported. Two things spring to mind (not breasts!) a) I'm going to buy the book and b) write one in which I state that in my opinion women look better naked than wearing naughty underwear, enclosing my address. What d'ya think?
Anyway, it's been a while, hasn't it? So much has happened that it would take me an age to tell you all the news, so I won't bother. In fact, while things will no doubt re-enter my mind as I go, there hasn't been a lot of activity on the Quo front to speak of, so I'll carry on where I left off, which was in Spain...
If I remember correctly, the next show was in Palma, Mallorca. A brand new Velodrome, which is great for cycling but there's a bleedin' cycle track between us and all the people with, as the GOMMOR would say, their bums on seats. A little Spartan on the equitment front (equitment is what our former German promoter used to call equipment, it's in Quospeak now). Not bad, but the wrong venue for the Status Quo I think...
Then off to Gibraltar, what a strange place this is. It was Gibraltar day or something like that, which meant virtually everyone under 30 was legless. My first time there, it must be strategically v.important for us to keep hold of it, because it just seemed like a big rock with street after street of flats and no atmosphere. Apparently there are more companies registered there than there are residents, hmm, tax haven or what? I bought some tobacco for my brother in law, in the UK about 80 quids' worth, £14.50 there; you could drink and smoke yourself to death there for under a tenner I reckon. And they have to close the road for the aeroplanes to get by, which was quite novel. Gig in a car park, a few puzzled looks in the Billy, I reckon they don't get many bands there.
We then started the current tour, to coincide with our frankly poptastic DVD from Montreux, rehearsed a new set of old songs which didn't work, so we've gone back to the same set as last year for now. Mainly because it works so well. You can always tell when a repertoire. if you will ladies and gentlemen, works... it flies by, the one in Paris, which was my idea seemed to go on for about a week and a half, so it was binned. Pisser, 'cos I worked hard on it and we all thought it'd be really good, but on stage le moutarde was definitely not cut.
I'm reading a book on Idioms by the way, their history is very interesting, but to cut the mustard wasn't in it. Anyone knows where that comes from let me know please. So there it is, we're playing the same as last year at present, that may or may not change. I must say we seem to be getting a great reaction. I purposely haven't looked at the MB, as I really can't be bothered to read the same criticism that's levelled at us every year by the same people whatever we do, and, as I always say, if you don't like it you can vote with your feet. Actually you can't do that you'd spoil the ballot paper wouldn't you? Anyway, BORING!!!
I'm in Luberec, in the Czech Republic at the moment, on a day off after the happiest tour I think we've had in years, in no small part due to the band and crew of Kansas. What a band! When it was announced I thought it was a weird ticket but I was wrong, totally. They got a fantastic reception from the Quo fans, well done you Deutsche guys (and Deutsche Sheilas), not the usual opening act you'd expect from us, very technically accomplished and a bit on the if you will prog side, but everyone appreciated how good they are... They really went for it every night, I was in the audience for at least some of their show every time, and I thought they were truly magnificent. Having songs like 'Dust in the Wind' and 'Carry on My Wayward Son' in your arsenal ain't no bad thing either, what a guitar riff in 'Carry on My Wayward Son', with the organ cutting through like a chainsaw, chill down the spine an' all that. And to top that, they're such nice people, all of them.
So, if they ever read this, great working with all of you, and nice also to meet Lori and Debbie, drummer Phil's (what a perfect name for a drummer, Phil!) and guitarist Richard's other halves, let's do it again sometime.
One more thing, if you liked their show, why don't you tell them, their website is kansasband.com. One more one more thing, see the photo of me and the bloke with the long hair, who is the guitar tech from Kansas. He's Bill Clinton's cousin. Really! So there you have it, Rhino Edwards, acquaintance of distant relatives of the rich and famous.
We've had some pretty terrific shows ourselves as well, Berlin, Leipzig and Stuttgart spring to mind. How's this for a coincidence. I was in Leipzig and lost; I stopped a guy and asked him in my faltering German the directions to our hotel. He looked at me for a second, and just said "sign please". Opened his case and pulled out a picture of the band! Bizarre, of all the guys at all the traffic lights in all the (contd.p.94).
That's nearly it, but before we go, I'd just like to thank you all that came to the 2 Woodedz shows in London and France in September. Carousel Vertigo in London were kicking as ever, thanks to Jansen for playing slide with us on a song, a special mention goes to Alan Crook for taking the time to learn Get out of Denver and rockin' it out with us, we really nailed that one, unlike Eddie and the Hot Rods, that really pissed me off that comment on the Message board. WE do it as it should be done, so there, yah boo sucks.
That was London, then on to the French Quo party, which apparently is somewhere near Lille, a town which as Mike Hrano can attest, all roads seem to lead to. What a great night. All you nits who haven't been, GO NEXT YEAR if there's going to be one. It's brilliant, a fantastic night for any fan of Quo. Payola were rocking out, thanks to singer Phillip for getting up and helping out on vocals.
My Freddie made me nearly wet myself. We were playing one of our heavier songs, Shame, there's a middle bit which is full on rock. I'm giving it me best shape, then Freddie comes up and starts singing in my ear the chorus from that dodgy song from "The party ain't over yet", I don't recall what the title is, but the chorus goes Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh, you get my drift, you can do it in the same rhythm He's a mother with the dry humour.
Just been to dinner with our lovely caterers Felix Sarah and Steve, they arranged a pumpkin competition last night (Halloween), typical, the Americans (Kansas crew) won the prizes, never mind, life is well good at the moment,
I love y'all,
yours very insincerely,
John Victor Edwards (almost 56 and a half with dyed blond hair)
To finish this one and bring the whole thing neatly up to date, the gig in Luberec was interesting, it's always great playing to new people who only really know In the Army now and Whatever you want, we must be doing something right, because they LOVED the evening. The Oriental goes down well every time, it must be that bosh bosh bosh bosh bosh bosh bosh bosh bass drum thing, but it don't half work, they loved it... And it's goodnight from me, in the land of the mighty Skoda and Urquel beer. Xxx
P.S. By the way, I organised a little competition about John Marter and a drumming connection with Quo. I got the wrong man, the question should have been about John Lingwood. If any of you know what I'm on about, then mail me the answer and ill-gotten gains will be yours.
P.P.S. BRING ON THE UK!!!!!