Rhino's Pictures Exposed Tourlog 2009/10  
Part 5: Gammon The Log
Succulent, juicy... Gammon the log I'm making myself feel quite ill here as I've realised how attentive I haven't been to my beloved Tourlog. The old girl seems to run on and on, we've been together now for quite a while, one of these years it'll become a worst seller in paperback form.

Anyway, hope you're all well... I'm knackered, thanks for asking. Mind you, the view from my Norwegian hotel room is truly spectacular as I write this after a barbie and gallon of red, so it isn't all bad.
I read a book recently; it's called "Dandy in the underworld", it's the wildest book ever I reckon. One episode made me laugh out loud, 'cos it reminded me about a song I wrote called "Busy Doing Nothing". The Dandy is hanging out with the Guinness heir, who is a complete smackhead. They basically get totalled for 3 months, and the heir decides his occupation is to be busy doing nothing. Which was fine until the Dandy realised when you're busy doing nothing you don't get any time off... Was that worth it? Probably not, but that's the preamble over with, now for something completely (ish) different.

That Copenhagen, or Quopenhagen, as it's now known, airport is mental. We had 40 minutes for our connecting flight to Frederikshavn, it took 39 minutes to RUN to the gate, and I kid you not (cliché of the day there)... at my age as well. Lots of Danish bands, one lot with a dancer that looked like Rhianna (luvverly jubberly), the much enjoyed by Rick Francis and Andrew. Big Fat Snake on just before us, we all went on dressed like Eskimos, 11.15 and freezing cold, not one of my more memorable evenings, even me, Mr.macho man bass player was frozen.

Ireland was a good 4 days. Hold it right there mister. I just can't do this any more!!!!! My god, d'ya know what? I'm even boring myself here! And that takes some doing I can tell you. So, memories of our trip to the Emerald Isle, what a beautiful name that is, go like this:

The Crown Belfast Good Guinness (priorities an' all that), meeting 2 Quo billy in The Crown in Belfast, love that bar, meeting with Phil Payola and brother, hot show, love that city, only losing 5 euro over 5 races at the Curragh, Kildare: beautiful, great hotel will go back there someday. Love the racecourses me, just glad I'm not a gambling man, would get the better of me I tink ( rolled off the keypad, that). Saw a bird inside a building with lots of glass, it kept flying at it and smashed itself up basically, poor bugger...

It is truly amazing scenery here by the way (Norway), just found myself gawking.

Killarney, had the best gammon I've ever had, with the man from Barnes, a triumph, yah? By the way, I'm not finished with Gammon yet... The Quo nutters from Cork, you crazy men and maybe woman!!! Great traditional band in Killarney main street outside a pub who I thought were really brave or stupid as they were playing electric instruments in the rain. Except for the spoons player. He was probably OK, I mean have you ever heard of a Fender Spoonacaster? Well you have now.

Told you I was bored!! We have 2 days off, which is a long time for us. What? Me switch between subjects? Never...

Supermarket shopping in Castebar, going to a second-hand CD fair (on a Sunday as well) and buying one of my all time favourite albums, "Nice Enough To Eat" which had been copied to CD (legally of course). It was an Island records sampler, nine and elevenpence I think it was originally. That and its' predecessor "You Can All Join In" are the reasons I became a bass player as they featured Free, STILL my favourite band, to this day. And my son Max's too, bloke!. If anyone has a copy of "You Can All Join In", which I do not, they could either (illegally, which of course I do not condone) burn it onto a CD, sell, or in actual fact donate a copy to me, an obviously worthy cause. I should be eternally in your debt, nothing like a bit of over-dramatisation, eh?

Look, if you have one you don't want then give it to me you tight bastards! And pay the postage! Why? Because I'm worth it...

Signing t shirts in Castlebar, very bluesy support duo, I just looked at the schedule on the Quo site 4 in 4 days, I'm lucky I remember that much actually. Good though, especially the Guinness.

Thy Festival Denmark Next!!! Thystedd, in the Denmark. A Danish kind of Traveling Wilburys on before us, shit catering, really good Pink Floyd tribute band on in the tent, we were on the main stage, bloody cold, not as bad as Frede/Fried/Fradn, you know, the town I was on about before in Denmark.

Then overnight by private plane, whoopee, watching the sun come up whilst airborne was really something, to Whitehaven, where we were performing just a short time after Derrick Bird did those terrible things. The driver pointed out the house in the village Bird had lived in, you couldn't imagine a more nuffineverappensere sort of place. We did offer to cancel our show but the organisers were adamant they wanted to go ahead, which suits me just fine and dandy. I reckon when something so random happens there are no lessons to be learned, you just can't odds people going over the edge and being so extreme. In my book the "life must go on for the majority of us" point of view has to hold sway. Easy for me to say I know, I wasn't affected but anyway: It was a really great gig, much better than the Rugby club we played a few whenever it was ago.

Kim, sorry I forgot you by the way, beautiful day, town packed, I am so sad, I bought a DVD of 60s Rootes group cars for Ricardo and me, that's real porn for us!

Slovakia, hmmm. Amazing hotel, beautiful town, boiling hot day, watched Germany thrash Argentina, YESSSS!!! totally wrong gig for us, an' that's the way I like it. Full of metalheads waiting to hear all the local bands, who were singing in Slovakian. They didn't get us, but they liked it, We flew there and back on Ryannair, don't eat the Chilli!

On to the Isle of Man, worst breakfast I think I've ever had, in the market café, trust me it was dreadful. Got the train to Ramsay, fantastic to see so many shops I never heard the name of before, all one offs, mind you I did have lunch in a Brazilian restaurant in the High Street, in the Isle of Man. That struck me as quite odd. Nice beach as well as stunning countryside, rockin' gig as well. Suddenly realised I keep talking about eating. Am I becoming a foodie I arskses myself? I hope not, really.

Liverpool, and the Echo arena.(Liverpool Post Review) How aptly named that venue is, saw Brian of Brino fame, good to seeya cocker. I think the kid on before us could do well by the way, he even had 5 female backing singers for one song. Getin!!

Right, that's it. I hope I haven't been too dull, "hey man we need some noo stuff. This shit's 2 tours old!" That's an Uncle Frank statement, as in Zappa not Rossi, but as Spencer Davis said, "keep on plugging" By the way, I bought some deodorant called Gammon, one of my rasher decisions (boom boom!) isn't that the hunnuens nosser?

Edvardsquist, Tak to all those that love me, and bollocks if you don't xxxx

Missing you already! You hoo!

OK, big Quo fans Sharon Littleton and her Welsh bloke, (Mark?) who met through Quo are going to be married. Wheyhey!! So, congrats from all of me here at Rhino towers and hope all your children are called either John or Rhino, I don't mind, boy or girl, well done anyway.

G'night xxxxx

Gammon: http://www.masseysfinefood.com/2009/12/13/christmas-orders-and-the-easiest-way-to-cook-gammon/
The Crown: http://chooseireland.com/county/antrim/crown-liquor-saloon-belfast/
Thy Rock Festival: http://thyrock.dk/

The Pictures Exposed Tourlog 2009/10:
Part 1  |   Part 2  |   Part 3  |   Part 4  |   Part 5
Part 6  |   Part 7  |   Part 8  |   Part 9  |   Part 10   
To Rhino's Tourlog Index

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