Rhino's Pictures Exposed Tourlog 2009/10  
Part 8: Aye Up!
Yorkshire Brrr! It's bloody freezing! In Bridlington, Yorkshire I am, and I just went for a walk along the beach, nuts off an all that.

We in the UK have had the earliest snow for 17 years, I must admit it was quite rock and roll last night, driving here through a blizzard with no idea whether the crew and trucks would make it or not. Well, they did and here we are, ready for tonight. Only trouble is youíd have to be an idiot to venture out in weather like this, Iím expecting about 8 people and a dog.

Mind you Iíd forgotten weíre in Yorkshire, so itíll probably be full, such hardy folk. And definitely not idiots. The phrases "to back oneself into a corner" and "digging ones own grave" are springing to mind here. Why, everybody knows the good folk of Yorkshire are among the most intelligent in Yorkshire.

Jack's Fish n' Chips Iím only waffling here as I canít get on line, typical Yorkshire that, oops. Just been to Jacks in Bridlington for the finest fish and chips at such a wholesome price. How do they do that I ask meself, see picking up the accent already, a linguistic sponge(r) me, by 'eck I am lad. Cliche, moi? Four pound ten gets you fish, chips (large) peas, bread AND butter and tea in one of those metal pots that when you use them you canít help pouring most of the boiling hot water over the table or yer legs. Completely authentic ladies and gentlemen. An overall score of 8 out of 10 from those present, messrs Bown, Edwards and May. However, the pint shortly afterwards as we waddled over to the Albion was 10 out of 10. And on a work day as well.

Well work, I use the term loosely. It is bizarre to have a job where basically every dayís a Saturday. Talking of Saturday, arenít that band the Saturdays the pits? I know you wouldnít kick 'em out of bed (and no Iím not a sexist. I mean you canít be if you want to get your end away, can you?), but bag oíshite or what? As I really am unable to get on line and therefore have no way of looking up where we bin innit to rite abaat I shall stop until tomorrow (Sunday) where I shall no doubt have the requisite digital technology to hand as we are heading back to civilisation and out of Yorkshire, (whew, think I got away with that, slagging off the place) to Leeds, which is obviously in another county, Somerset or somewhere, they just talk odd. Still someoneís got to, or else us Southern jessies wouldnít be able to say 'cor blimey guvnor, whoís that geezer talking funny, 'e must be from upp Norfí.
I am getting my cloak, speak soon, missing you already wmoah wmoah darlings.

Aah, thatís better, itís Monday morning, had a day off yesterday, only drag is Iím going down with a cold, going to be a total outcast for the next couple of days, nobody else is going to catch this, I shall ensure it. Anyway, down to business.

Quo Stage at The Dorchester The Dorchester hotel and a fundraising lunch for the Variety club. Sitting on a table with the band, various wives and THE Bill Wyman, the bloke who went diddleydiddleydiddleydiddleydiddleydiddleydiddleydidley (god I really know how to express myself musically) on the end of 19th Nervous breakdown by the Stones, you havenít heard it, check it out, itís right at the end. I love that bit so much by I just wrote diddley 8 times, actually 9 if you count that one. Very nice bloke is Bill, totally down to earth, mind you he told me he thought I was really good, so he must be a bit deaf. What a compliment to get, wow.

Nearly put my foot in it when I thought John Altman was Shane Richie, but realised who it was just before I said nice to see you Shane, got away with that. Heís a well nice bloke as well. Lord Wood of Moveshire in attendance as well, quite a lot of my musical heroes there, but more of that in another log. We played 3 songs, and the whole event raised 45 grand for charidee, so well done the Quo fans that booked the table, give yourselves a pat on the back.

Whatís a cure for water on the brain? A tap on the head, just threw that in, why I shall never know. Am I digressing? What do you think? We played 3 songs. I got quite drunk. No change there.

On to Kneller hall, and another charity gig, itís so local to me I could have got the 281 bus there. I grew up about half a mile away, and used to watch my dad (who would have been 90 yesterday by the way, died at 59, poor bugger) playing football there. Real local lad makes good stuff.

7,000 billy, made a lot of money, all for a good cause, however I hear one of the acts, who I would name and shame if I could remember the moniker charged 13 grand for a quite frankly not very good performance, my opinion only, but shame on you. Really cold, but great crowd.

Iíd also like to personally thank all the Army sorts that were involved in the singing and the making of the video for the 'In The Army Now' remake. Iím gutted it didnít do better than it did, even my 91 year old mum bought 2 copies, where were you lot, eh?

Kneller Hall - In The Army Now

Couple of days off then crack on for the winter slog, which weíre still on as I write, by the way I know Leeds is in Yorkshire, if youíre ever here go the Tiled Hall (Tiled Hall site) at the Leeds art gallery, mega that is.

Right. Belgium and France!
10 minutes later, after a massive sneezing fit, bollocks, this is really annoying.
Liege, funky town, nice weather, seems like years ago now, first show with the new lights, Iím not sure whether I like the screens, doesnít seem very rock and roll to me, but then Iím not out front watching so what do I know?

Then a day off in Anecy, France. Oh poor me, itís a hard life, eating crepes and drinking cider (see pic) with that Monsieur Bown. What a beautiful place, must be great to live in. I donít recall being there for a long long time, but that doesnít mean anything. On the day of the show there was the annual one day festival which celebrates the bringing down of the cows from the mountains for the winter. Great atmosphere in the town, what a job I have, I get to see things like that, then go off and play my guitar for a couple of hours, thatís my work!!

Great gig with an Israeli band with called Asaf Avidan and the Mojos, check them on YouTube here, you wonít have heard much like that before. They couldnít do all the shows as they werenít welcome in some towns, politics huh?

St. Etienne next, not my favourite town in France, even more fun on a Sunday, then a day off in Pau, which Monsieur Bown assured me was really cool etc. Actually it was about as merdy as St Etienne, still, canít win 'em all.

Bordeaux next, I really like it there, will go back with 'er derriere les portes (thatís 'er behind the doors in French, you bunch of Palestines!) when we have time. Must also mention the lovely Powered by Quo people, who had the good sense and taste to bring me ham, cheese and wine from my second favourite country in the whole wide world after France. Yes, Iíve always loved Albania. Not as much as I like Yorkshire though, the best place ever. Honest.

Actually theyíre Spanish, and really, thank you so much, always a pleasure to see you at gigs. Theyíve compiled a book which they kindly asked me to write the foreword for, however as itís in Spanish, a language which continues to baffle me, it could be called 5,000 reasons why Rhino is a wanker, hope not. Loved the gig, proper hot loud large rammed club. Adios you Spanish, laters.

Another day off! This time in Limoges. Only the French. Thereís a financial crisis on, so what do they do? Why, they call a series of national strikes of course, the government wants to raise the retirement age to 23 or something. When they say only the French, boy is that true. Watched a demonstration, which of course started after breakfast and finished around lunchtime, with a half an hour off in the middle for un petit cafe.

Another festival the day after, for what I donít know, probably something like the annual shaving of the Mayorís wifeís armpits, but the beautiful medieval part of town was PACKED!! You know, when nobody moves or can move, a bit too claustrophobic for Andrew who managed to wiggle his way out, leaving me with 2 rilletes sandwiches and 2 glasses of red, which I had no choice other than eat and drink. That was really tough...

Great gig, another good support act, the Running Birds they is called.Next Nantes, one of my favourite French cities, another Crepe and cider, and a storming gig, we always go really well there.

Then sadly the last show, Amiens, well not exactly sad as weíre going on to Amsterdam where the lovely Kath is going to be waiting for me a little romantic interlude. As some American/French/ English/Albanian (keep up!)/ Yorkshireman once said "We shall return (such as like)Ē And we will. I know we will. Not telling you when though, na na na na na.


As you might glean from this Iím in a good mood. No idea why, but such is life. Itís probably because Iím in Yorkshire.
Or not.
I just reread what I have written, and have realised 2 things:
1. I am either, mad or an idiot, not sure really.
2. I like drinking. A lot. (in both senses).

Pictures, from top:
Jack's Fish n' Chip Shop in Brid
The Stage at The Dorchester by Simon Cooper
Quo In The Army at Kneller Hall by Christie Goodwin
Crepes and Cider

The Pictures Exposed Tourlog 2009/10:
Part 1  |   Part 2  |   Part 3  |   Part 4  |   Part 5
Part 6  |   Part 7  |   Part 8  |   Part 9  |   Part 10   

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