Part 4: We'll be Back

If the old singer of Van Halen had a bad chase of the Chalfonts (haemorrhoids) and decided to write a book about it, would he entitle it "The grapes of Roth?" I dunno.... Any of our non UK readers mail me and tell me what Chalfonts rhymes with there are prizes! Yessireebob, ceramics make prizes! 1st is a night with me, I'll do anything your heart desires, except leave the band. 2nd prize is 2 nights, boom boom...... By the way, today, Dec 1 as they say in boilheadland, sorry, the USA ... (boilheadbush, my new favourite possible president....aaagh!!) has been designated National Pie Day by Sir Richard of Parfitt, as he asked for, and got a large mince pie for his lunch, so, mark it in your diaries folks, let's start a national campaign. I know it's all a bit after the event, but I ain't forgotten Australia, it's not hard to remember a good time like that...so here's part four. All I can say is that Sydney was a real stormer, all the people from Festival, our Australian record company head office were there, what a top bunch. David and Foxy, thanks for such a good time, don't go getting tired and emotional until we get back! Thanks to all the area reps as well, you don't often meet sincere record company staff, such a pleasant change. Of course, Sydney wouldn' be the same without FOXC opening for us, and sterling work was done by he and his merry men, hear ye hear ye.. On to Woolangong, which is near Botany Bay, amazing to see these places you lernt abaat at skool, and a not very memorable performance by us, still you can't win 'em all. Rick was still suffering with his guitar sound. For the technically minded of you, his Fender Telecaster goes through a Muffburger pedal into a Snothill Arts7863H98K mark 54 signal processor into an Upitsownarse speaker simulator through 7 Marshall 1000 watt heads into a 2inchsuperdeluxedansettestereomonochorusflanging speaker system. OK, so now you know. Actually, as I write, (backstage at Sheffield City Hall, 2/12/00, 3.37pm,) he has got it sussed out now, welcome back Ricky... It was then on to Adelaide, which was roasting hot, and another signing in the middle of a shopping precinct, and a great gig at night, the biggest crowd of the tour, and we didn't let them down at all at all. Then on to Perth, for sadly the last gig of the tour, where, can't remember if I told you, but we were swimming away when we saw a TV crew on the beach, who told us a guy had been eaten about 20 feet away from where we were taking a dip. If I have told yez, I've got short term memory loss again. When we went to Perth, we were swimming (cont'd page 94)... I got a letter from my biggest fan, James in Scotland, who'd addressed his letter to Rhino, Status Quo, a concert hall in Perth, and it got to me! Mind you Francis told me that a fan arrived at his house one day, and rang the bell. When he enquired as to how she'd found his house, she just said, "Easy. I just got to the train station, as I knew the town, and asked the Taxi driver where you lived!" After the gig at Perth, we had 2 hours, and got the plane home at 1.30.AM. I've rarely been so pissed off at leaving somewhere, All at Festival, Saville, Queens of Quo, Singapore Airlines, and anyone else who was cool I forgot to mention, thanks again, we shall return!!! That's it for now, got some serious kipping to do before the show in Sheffield, as it's the last in a run of 4, and it's quite a shock to the system after 10 shows in 3 weeks!. I've had to cut the old bev out, as I must admit I went for it big time down under. It's been 5 days now, possibly amongst the most boring of recent years, but at least I ain't feeling shite every morning, just really tired for some reason. Could be something to do with not being as young as I used to be... OK... I'm up to date (ish). More UK logging soon... Seeya, kissey kissey

All photos on this page were taken at Brisbane by Dave Coulson © 2000

To the UK 2000 Tourlog: Part one    Part two     Part three     Part four     Part five

To the Oz 2000 Tourlog: Part one    Part two    Part three