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Monday, 16th October 2000. Sometimes you write stuff and it makes you laugh, doesn't it? Well it does me. You get on a train of thought, and end up wetting yourself laughing. Tonight I'm trying too hard, so without further trash, I shall report to you on the 8 shows since Blackburn. One thing though... Anyone who spells tomato like this: tomatoe should be shot. I'm a fair man, but you can only take so much... Right. Grimsby. What a pleasant surprise. Lovely friendly people, the pace of life seems that bit slower, nothing wrong with that, and most people I spoke to were happy living there. And what great billy they turned out to be, the venue, the Auditorium looks brand new, great dressing rooms, etc. It really does help the overall scheme of things if the backstage facilities are good, and these were top. One silly thing: If this venue was in Germany, where they're really safety conscious, the capacity would be twice as much, but that's only a minor complaint, just that we could have played to more people, as it was well sold out ages before. Great time had by us and them. Rick had been having a few sound probs, but he got it sorted on this gig, and he rocked out in a big way… I had mails from some locals about the fish and chips, and how they were the best, sorry to burst your bubble honeeez, not so good as Brid. 
Next! Scarborough. Drizzle. The best fish and chips I've ever had, £3 including a drink, so the MMIR ( meanest man in rock - me) was made up. Great gig, saw some people I hadn't seen in a while, amazingly grotty hotel. I'm definitely not the best person on directions. The hovel, sorry hotel, was 2 minutes walk from the venue. I set off after soundcheck to go back for a shower. 40 minutes later, I arrived back , wet and defeated. Had a power shower at the gig, that's a contradiction in terms, innit. Francis also had one, only took him about 40 minutes to get wet enough to wash off the soap!! I also played Bingo for the first time, a bit weird.. Good rockin' tonight though, folks. Then to Sunny Sunderland on Sunday. A big rake (a downward slope) on the stage, and not particularly wide. To be honest, I can't remember too much about the show, but I heard that Sid James died there, and I don't mean his act died. We are not worthy. Now THERE was a raver. Sometimes you don't think who's performed on the same stage before when you play some of these theatres, but I'm sure if you saw the book of who's been there, it would be amazing. From vaudeville to the Angelic Upstarts, the world's your lobster. Francis' voice started playing up during this gig, just happened, I thought we might have to cancel Carlisle, the next show, but he's made of sterner stuff. The Sands Centre is the gig in Carlisle, I think the cloud has found us every time we've played here, and this time was no exception, top totty, crap stage sound, but the ol' TT does help to forget about that. Hot and noisy, how I like my women (barf), on then to Glasgow, as usual the BEST audience. Saw a few R***** R****** T-shirts, and the funniest thing of the tour for me so far happened. The billy were right at the front of the stage, and I was really getting into it, I was standing inches away from them, and this girl started to undo my.... shoelaces. Which I thought was a little daft, but I carried on playing regardless. I looked down a few seconds later, and her boyfriend was retying them! I really had a good laugh, till a couple of minutes later the same girl and another had a serious punch-up, biting, scratching etc, aah let me in there... 
On to the Music Hall in Aberdeen, never played there before, but a much nicer place than the shed we normally do when we're in town. A bit of a goldfish bowl, in that the top tier in the hall comes right back past the front of the stage, so it's a bit like a goldfish bowl, y'dig? Can't complain, it was sold out, as has virtually all the tour, including the second part in December, so if you're thinking a coming to see us, don't hang around, or you'll be disappointed, especially when we're so tight. (musically!). Matt and Paul are really doing the business. A word about Paul. He may not be the most visual performer you've ever seen, but he can't half play those keyboards, on top of which he's a top bloke, I don't think we could have found a better dep for The Man From Barnes. He'll still be away for a while, but watch this space.. As soon as we know anything, you'll be the first to hear. Dundee, what a lovely city, used to be the jute capital of Europe, you know (shut him up, quick) I just wanted to tell them about the Tay bridge train crash (SHUT IT YOU NONCE) Card Hall. Haven't played there in years and years and years, where have I heard that before? Another riotous gig, the Jocks really know how to make a noise (and I'm not talking about Wet Wet Wet). We had been considering changing Bridges for something else to save Francis' voice, but when you get a reaction like we did in Scotland, we just HAD to do it. No cynicism here, thank you very much. 
Then down to York for a
day off, we're doing so many gigs in such a short space of time, it's almost
like working, actually forget that last bit.. York was last night, today's
Monday and we're en route to Cardiff. York was the crappest gig for me, Lovely
totty, but a sound from hell, and some drunks, who are never welcome. Have a
good time, get pissed by all means, but don't get blotto. You Are a Turf if
you spoil it for others. Even the TT couldn't help, and to crown it all, Dave
Salt slipped and tore his calf muscles. I'm willing to wager at least one
English Pound, that it smarted a little, and he probably said something like
"Crikey, that's the old calf muscle pulled, I'd better get to the bally
hospital" He's actually hobbling around the gig, in plaster, but is a real
trooper, well done mate. Which brings me right up to speed (ya) so, thees ees the Eengleesh peegs een Wayless sayeeng to yu hola and buenos noches,  XXXXXX P.S. I'll do the last few English dates soon... Oi!! Ozzies!!! Get Ready to ROCK!!!!! |
| To the UK 2000 Tourlog: Part one Part three Part four Part five |
| To the Oz 2000 Tourlog: Part one Part two Part three Part four |
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