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Alright, I know I'm still doing logs for the summer gigs, but who cares... it's all part of the tour that never ends innit? 
You realise you've been around a bit when you're in a theme park in the middle of Norway, on a metal toboggan run when you suddenly remember you've been to the same place before, which we did in 1986, when me and Jeffrey Dennis first joined. Not a bad life really, I reckon that in most European countries, I have been to more places than the majority of the indigenous populace (peepol wot lives ther). If you like travelling, as I indeed do, it's fab.
The first shock on arrival in Oslo was the tour rep. An absolutely top bird by the name of Mona. Not that you'd think it if you saw her. A very hard looking punk, body piercing agogo, tattoos everywhere the eye could see,(and probably where you couldn't as well), plus a serious multi coloured mohican. If we were continuing our sadly now defunct "employee of the month" section, she would definitely have won it. The only reason she hasn't is that I can't find any of the photos I took of and with her, but our stay in Norway was really a great time, a lot it down to her. Plus which, she liked R****'* R******... such taste. Stayed in a hotel right next to the gig, with a pre gig party in the bar, so we were able to watch billy making his way to the venue. Our billy can drink, End of. However, not all of them can hold it, espacially our Scandic cousins. We watched one bloke take about 20 minutes to walk, if that's the right word 100 metres, during which he fell over about 5 times, one time smashing all his boat open, and not caring a lot about it. I bet he did the next day... Good gig from us, a pretty rural audience, but they knew how to party, yeah, yeah, yeah... Met Per and missus after for a drink. Mr. Tablature, thanks for the wino for Rhino. 
Lots of sitting on the bus to get to the next show, but Mona really knew her shit about Norway, it really is a fantastic place, dead picturesque, I mean top NICE. We had a hotel with the most amazing view of the fjords and mountains for the second gig, a small open air. Opening band called the Backstreet Girls (http://home.no.net/broerby/), I think, pretty good as well, they're all about 1 metre 60, with a singer who's about 2 metres, looking good. We were rocking along nicely when Rick walked off the drum riser. Nothing wrong with that, except he'd forgotten he was on the riser, arse over tit didn't come into it, he went FLYING! He could have seriously hurt himself, but amazingly he didn't, so I proceeded to piss myself big time, I couldn't sing (you can't anyway) for about 10 minutes, and almost couldn't play I was laughing so hard, in fact I'm wetting myself now as I recount the story. OK, I'll probably fall over and break a leg, fair enough, that's karma, but that was something else. In fact the Rev. RP Parfitt had quite a funny old couple of days, more of that later. Next day we flew to Tromso, right up in the north of the country, which is where a couple of the pictures of band and crew were taken which you can find in our latest tour brochure, competitively priced at only £7, and very good value I can assure you ladies and gentlemen. We arrived the evening before the show, it's that time of year when it doesn't get dark in Norway, all the bands were staying in the hotel, and a right royal pissup ensued. I went to bed about 3. Rick was found wandering around the corridor at 9 the next morning. He thought we were in Liverpool... 
Saw Bonnie Tyler the night before, she was really good. I'm not a huge fan, but so what. She's a bit like us (except she's got tits and no willy) in that she gives the audience what they want. Hur hur. Serious, you know what I mean, she rocked, and is a top chick as well. Anyway, we done the gig, Rick did something, I'm not sure what he thought it was, it's safe to assume he had a hangover or a near death experience, probably a cross between the 2, went on at 2.30.am in broad daylight, actually pretty good we were, as we are the old gits, just think, in 2 years time I'll be able to go on a Saga holiday! Right, nearly done, the summer shows were really a good time, of course we didn't know about all the sad things that were just around the corner, still, you never do, do ya? So what do we say? LET'S ROCK!!!! Mine's a light and dripping, Cheers, Mr. Ed XXXXXXX P.S. Don't forget our special 'It's for charity mate' auction thing... make a bid for any or all of our stage shirts from this tour, clean or sweaty, it's your choice... and nominate the charity you want your bid to go to... (bids are now closed)
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