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Testing 1-2, Testing, Testing...Is this thing on? LADEES AND GENTLEMEN!!! WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR THE STATUS QUO, THE BEST ROCK AND ROLL BAND IN THE WORLD, TODAY OR ANY OTHER DAY, IN FACT EVER!!! NOMINATED FOR 398 GRAMMYS, 48 OSCARS, 6 JEFFRIES, 2 AGATHAS AND 8 ALGERNONS, HERE'S KATE MOSS TO PRESENT THE AWARD FOR BEST ROCK AND ROLL BAND IN THE WORLD" AND THE WINNER IS...NOT STATUS QUO!! I only say that because loads of bands seem to get awards and they're CRAP! Manic Street Preachers? Leave me alone...All Saints? Hee hee. If it wasn't for the fact that there are so many shite bands who can't cut it live, it would be hysterically funny, but it ain't...anyway, Rhino's Rant of the day is officially over, 'til the next one... "This is the GBC (git's broadcasting company) news, read by Mr. Ed. The Danish city of Copenhagen was today rocked by a sonic explosion, which lasted for some 100 minutes before it could be controlled. An investigation has pointed the finger of blame fairly and squarely on 5 Englishmen, who go by the name of the Quo, and their supporters, known as the Quo Army. Armed only with guitars, it would seem the Quo sent 4000 Danes into a frenzy of rocking and rolling, with probably the best set in years, which did definitely kick arse. Police have warned that the 5 members of the Quo should be approached, especially in hotels by young nubiles looking for a right old (old for sure!) rogering... Hey doh! Denmark calling, You've all heard of Tupac, now listen to the Danish version, Lurpack. Arf arf, not. 
Still the Copenhagen gig was great, perfect start to a tour, you'd never have known that we hadn't done a gig for a while, it's that Matthew I think. He's just so confident, you can rely on him big stylee. Rick's new name for him is the boshing machine, very apt. The new songs were a little rough around the edges, and there were some brown trousers being sported by the one with the pony tail, but we needn't have worried, they're working out fine. Oh, yes, catering. When you do one-offs, you normally have local catering. This company was nouvelle cuisine gone mad. They had venison with pesto, wild mushroom, and chicken with something I'd never heard of in it, tasted a bit like I imagine tar would, and for the others, there was fish Jim, but not as we know it.. mustn't grumble, I could be working. On to Aarhus, a right rockin' town, a new venue, where the new programme arrived, as did the latest swag (merchandise) range. In my opinion, of late the swag has been what one might reasonably call complete shit. However, this new lot is good, someone spent more than 3 minutes designing the range. This isn't a plug for the new stuff, but check it out if you're going to a gig... We were twice times as betterer as the night before, so I hope that helps... in fact we were the hundens nosser (that's Danish for the dog's bollocks - it really is!) Got another gold disc for an album I didn't even know was out, and also had the biggest cwoud, (crowd, said by someone who can't pronounce their Rs) we've ever had in Aarhus, about 4000, you know, it ain't a big place, Denmark. 
They all drove off to Amsterdam, and I flew home at 7.00am, for my Masie Mae's 10th birthday party, which was nice... mind you a day off in Amsterdam, wonder what everybody did?? Flew back on the Sunday to Amsterdam for the show, Amstel, sorry Heineken Arena, it's the usual. What can we say about the Dutch? They are the dogsh bollocksh. If you don't get off on our punter over there, you've been jacking up with embalming fluid, believe me... 6000 billy, they came, they saw, they rocked, and PARTIED! Great country, great gig. Francis did come over a bit ill while we were there, couldn't stand up straight, wonder what it was, Crap catering again, roll on the UK on that front.
On then to Brussels, getting constant stick from Stuart, one of the drivers about being a part timer, as I was going home as well after Brussels to pick up my saucepans, I'll get back at ya, just you wait. Forest National, 7500 billy, they really gave the Dutch a good run for their money noise wise, in fact I think they might just have had the edge. In ITAN, the singing was sooo loud, we couldn't believe it. Another storming show from us, the audience really do lift you, you lot are not bad, you know. Hi five to y'all from Mr. Robert Keith Young, who as we speak is sitting next to me... anyway, bogoff you lot, I need a slash.  XXXXXXX
except pic of Rhino, Paul and Rick by Barry Colquhoun. |
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