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No show at Carlisle, Grimsby and Leicester, as you all know. My mother in law was watching the evening news, and she called to tell me the bulletin had gone straight from the Talliban to Rick Parfitts' elbow! We are not worthy...
So, after an unexpected couple of extra days at home, which was nice, on to Manchester on the Saturday, which was also nice. Once you get in the bubble, it's not easy to leave, especially for a couple of days. Example 1. In bubble. "Any chance of a cup of tea?" "Coming up. Do you take sugar?" Example 2. At home. "Any chance of a cup of tea?" "Get it yourself you lazy git, and make me one while you're at it." Catch my drift? Pic on the right is Mr Hirsh, who is a bit handy in the culinary department, preparing the daily vegie meltdown... beetroot, apple, celery and carrots in a blender... tastes nicer than it sounds actually. Popped in to see the State of Quo at the Band on the Wall during the afternoon, good idea they have, in some towns where Quo are appearing they do a lunchtime gig when we're playing at night, so you can get a massive dose (pardon?) of Quo, plus maybe a half a pint of bitter... Check out their web site, www.stateofquo.com for details. The gig... Rick was a little apprehensive about whether his elbow would last the gig, but it did, no problems, and a great night was had by us and you. Andy Taylor, the sound man said he'd never heard billy singing so loudly from the off, give yourselves a pat on the back. TV crew on bus, off bus, off stage, on stage, in dressing room, everywhere in fact, should make for an interesting programme... On then to the Brentwood International Centre. International seems a bit of an overstatement, but as they held the world tiddlywinks championship there, I suppose it's fair enough... We'd never been there before, quite a goldfish bowl. One thing we were talking about is that by doing all these smaller shows, you get to see how mad people really go... 
There was a family going completely apeshit, kids, parents, grandparents, and the TV people got to speak to them after the show. They usually go to Wembley, and go just as mad, but we don't get to see them, d'you understand me? Other side is that you get locals turning up out of interest, some of them love it, but you see a few yawning and looking at their watches! Ian and Dave had their own T-shirts made up for the gig, nice one guys... Quite a Sunday night atmosphere, which was lucky, as it was indeed the Lords' day. By the way, isn't it great to have Softer Ride back in the set. Big overnighter to Dundee, TV crew on board, lashings of ginger beer, hand jiving and falling asleep in the strangest of positions. Day off in Dundee, home of my favourite publication, the Beano, lovely place, then the Caird Hall. James, my number one fan showed up, as did the 5 onion man, didn't get a photo of them, aah... We even had a couple of stage invaders, the girl who jumped up was rather wet, well her armpits were. I'd clocked her earlier on, and it seemed like she'd sprung a leak under her arms! Still, it wasn't me she wanted to hug, shame.. We played really good, me and the boshing machine, the OMORRS weren't so sure, that's the way it goes.. I really like the TV people around, they filmed the gig tonight, will miss them when they've gone.. On then to Glasgow, a city we always look forward to, and as usual we weren't disappointed. To digress briefly, I've had quite a few mails regarding the volume, or lack of it at the very front. Probably the worst place to be on one hand, sound never going to be good or loud. Other side of coin = proximity to rock god of choice. 
Yeesss.. Glasgow. Stormer, even put Burning Bridges in the encore. We haven't been doing it very often lately, as it tears Francis' throat to bits, but how could we not for such brill billy, plus which great stage sound. Venue... 5/10. SECC next time I reckon.. Saturday night, right near Christmas. What could be better? Only the Super Bees going up... I also had some pink knickers thrown up to me, and what's more, they were from a WOMAN! You have made an old man very happy. For personal reasons I shall refer only to her as "S", however her real name is Debbie Small, she lives at 11, Fife Road, Kinross, GE2 7OJ Scotland (copyright Monty Python)
Overnight to York, Barbican Centre, I read on the message board we rocked, but I didn't really enjoy it, as didn't the boshing machine. Rick had the best gig on the tour for him, Francis was OK. His worst gig was Manchester, I felt sorry for him, he really wanted to have a good one, but sometimes it just don't happen , that's showbiz. But, really, as long as you lot enjoy it, that's the main thing, innit? Harrogate, weak sound on a small stage, with billy right at the front. Dreadful cock up from Francis in ITAN. Or, as I said before, maybe Rick, Paul, Matt and me all went wrong at the same time. Could be...I played that Gerdundula bit in the wrong key, thinking in fact they were all wrong. Guess what? They weren't!
Oh yeah, at Harrogate, someone decided to eject the smell of 8 vindaloos towards the stage, in an anal tract gas explosion, the GOMORR literally had to walk through a wall of pen (pen and ink-stink) to get to the mike, and then had to open his mouth and sing, then breathe! Thankfully he's still with us, though it was a close run thing.... Plus the most attractive bouncer I have ever seen at the front. Boy, did she look strict... I can't believe it, I'm writing about last nights' show, that's the first time in about a year I got up to date, This has obviously been a shall we say, straight version of events, I shall therefore sign off in the most formal manner that comes to mind... Bollocks.  XXXXX
P.S. I'm listening to a band called Turin Breaks, which someone with a vindictive sense of humour told me to get. DON'T BUY IT! IF YOU DO YOU WILL WANT TO SLIT YOUR WRISTS/TAKE 300 SLEEPING PILLS/JUMP OFF A CLIFF WITHIN SECONDS! Apart from that it's not very good either, at least I don't think so. 
Gerdundula by Brian Campbell. |
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