I'm drinking again. But I wasn't when we played the rock and roll centre of the universe, Heillsbron. Not to be confused with the town of Heillbron, which is a good 2 hours away. As I discovered when a text message was sent to me by my good friend Hans Headbang Animal. It was "are you playing in Heillbron?" Reply "No, Heillsbron" Reply from Animal: "Shit". Luckily he and awfully nice bloke friend Johann made it in time for the show, and a tent job was had by all, first time I really watched the new opening act, Morris they are, and we really like them, so we do there noiw... 

Saturday, it must be Saint Leon-Rot, OK, what shall I say? I actually went to Aldi and bought an implement that picks apples/pears etc of trees, I mean let's motherf***** well ROCKANDROLL!!!! The weather is as they say unseasonably warm in Germany, Global warning, course not. 

By the way, if you love me you will donate to one of the Pakistan Earthquake appeal funds, what a totally shit thing to happen, it's almost as Prince said, "You turn on the telly and every other story is tellin ya somebody died" What an awful year for natural disasters it's been, hasn't it? Anyway, I remember not a lot about the concert ladies and gentlemen, but we went overnight to Hamburg, I remember that, as at this time I was not drinking, and obviously not making a big deal about it, naturlich... During the afternoon the Danish crew guys had their bus broken into, lots of laptops and passports taken, bummer man. Funny hall, looked like it was refurbished in 1974 by Starsky and Hutch interior designers (Hamburg) Noisy gig, especially for a Sunday, still messing around with dis medley ting, but coming on, Rockers Rollin' just didn't cut it, so a fond farewell to that, and hello old mate Little Lady. 

Dresden. What a place, no wonder the German economy is in a mess, the amount of money that's been spent in the East, but if it's as well spent as it has been in Dresden then it's well worth it in my book. It is truly wonderful, the restoration work is fantastic, it must have been so special before the awful pasting we gave it in the war, and in 5 years time will hopefully be as splendid as it was. Anyway the gig. In an old shit, sorry slaughterhouse, forget everything I said about Dresden! That said, packed sweaty, and loud, perfect really. On to Zwickau, which was the home of the mighty Trabant car and a big mining area, I suspect nowadays that equals high unemployment, the more you work in the East the more you become aware of the enormity of the reunification project. 

Maybe it's the not drinking or the years of abuse catching up but I can't remember a fudging thing about the gig, so make up your own review if you want. I don't care because we have a week, sorry day off in Emden By the way, I'm at the TV studio in Cologne as I write, we're doing the biggest German TV show tonight, it's called, TV total, nice one Cyril... 

The gig had a Swiss band special guesting, called Gotthard, not bad, nice lot, doesn't that sound a bit condescending? Saw a couple of people with smacked arse faces at the gig, I know they're hacked off re the set, what can I say? We try to appeal to everybody, and believe me it ain't easy trying to find the right mix, any way, still working on the set, another noisy gig, not as good as Dresden, but might have been better than Zwickau, f*** knows. On to Braunschweig, best gig so far, in terms of venue, billy and us. Great time was had by all, Cyndy, Julie, Maureen and her mate from the UK and Heidi from Denmark all pitched up, and it was also the hundredth time Kimi and Gudi, 2 of our mad German fans have seen us, well done girls. 

On to Hameln, you know the town with the pied piper legend, met up with all me family that live out here, which was nice... funking good show in fact. Cyndy and crew again, lots of crazy Germans, there'd been a pre gig pissupalongaQuo in a local bar before, but they were very happy drunks, perfect really, I mean if I was going to see Quo I'd have a few bevs beforehand. Well I would if I were drink-(16 ton weight suddenly descends on Rhinos’ head). 

Great! ...a day off in Aalen, at a Spa hotel, which was packed, and the town, which was shut, public holiday. I mean CLOSED. I wonder if the promoter over here is trying to tell us something, all the hotels on days off seem to be in Spa towns, and I think it would be fair to say the local businesses were chasing the shall we say grey Euro. We got a mail after the gig accusing me of spewing over the front row. I do not spew sir, I spray... On to the charming town of Saarburg, and a tiny hall, went great for me in particular, I like a small one now and again, day of in Bad Goggingen, near Neustadt am Donau. I went cycling along the Donau, ended up doing 70 kilometres, one of the best days of my life, really. 

Finished up in the beautiful city of Regensburg, went to my favourite beer hall in the world, to find it was the new beer day. I am not a twat (sez who?) so I had a few doppel bock beers, it's around 8 per cent, so a very woozy ride on the train back to our Spa hotel. Gig in Landshut at brand new hall, all concrete, horrid sound, we REALLY like the Morris guys, so much so they're coming to the UK to do some gigs with us, excellent stuff. 

So to Essen, without a doubt the best gig on the tour. GOMORR did this amazing shape on Down Down, most definitely in the not worthy club I was, he was SERIOUS on stage. Really really great Billy, what a good time was had by ein and all. By the way I hear there were a few moans about us not playing the new medley on some gigs. That's 'cos Ricardo has been struggling with a sore throat and cold for a while now, and we reckoned it was best not to run the risk of losing a show, that's de truff folks. 

Last gig coming up on this trip, at Tuttlingen, famous for making surgical instruments, nice one to finish on, sold out and kicking, except when I looked at the PA speaker stacks and they seemed to be just about to fall over. Which was not nice... had a few drinks of wine, bad head next day (surprise), it's flown by really, although we're still here 2 days later, to do this telly show I was on about earlier, can't wait to see family and friends. Anyway, I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank God, the Queen, my mum and anyone else who knows me. 

John, who is 52 and from Teddington lists cycling, reading and not drinking amongst his hobbies (16 tons...) 

See you in the UK xxx

By the way kids, if your parents don’t buy you 5 copies of our new single, out at the end of the month, they definitely don’t love you. 

Top picture by Bobby Plavsic (Huttwil).
More at quo.qu.funpic.de

Bottom two by Dave Salt (South Africa). 

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